𝚒 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞

Ch. 4 ♡

Maybe won't you take it back
Say you were tryna make me laugh
And nothing has to change today

River and I were laying down on the floor, painting and listening to her old Spotify playlist.

"Thanks for the canvases and paints by the way," She commented. We were using two of them for today and the new oil paints I also got her.

"You're welcome, I remember you would always buy them, but you've improved now," I laughed.

After getting breakfast together at the local diner, River convinced me to paint some flowers on the floor of her garage. Our parents went out of town to go sightseeing, but she and I stayed behind. Her aunt was working and Javier started summer school, we were the only ones left.

It was a relaxing evening, the days started to get warmer and now we were able to wear short sleeves and shorts. The garage door was open for the breeze, it actually started to feel like Summer.

"What are you majoring in? When you go to Los Angeles," River asked me before dipping her brush in water, "you never mentioned it."

"Political science or some shit," I signed and outlined the ocean I attempted to paint, " but I want to become a defense lawyer- like after watching Jessica Jones and Daredevil- for people who actually can't defend themselves. People of color, convicts who are easily blamed and targeted, minors, there's a list."

"I definitely see that in you," she smiled, "you love arguing too so-"

"Hey," I cut her off before she could diss me even more. We got up and decided to take a little break, River made me some noodles that were really good- it was just ramen too.

I loved days like these, where the two of us would waste time staring at the sky or just listening to the Neighborhood together while eating ice cream. Sometimes we'd go walk around to visit the abandoned railroads to take pictures and find inspiration for River's paintings.

But lately she's been taking different subjects- they weren't the usual dead bird or three headed snakes, she'd sometimes paint the scenery from the places we visited, like the bakery or the forrest that surrounded the tracks.

Today she was painting a river with dead trees and grass surrounded it, but the river itself was glowing and blue butterflies flew around it. I looked down at my generic painting- it's okay, it wasn't my talent.

"Ugh!" River groaned as she stretched out her body, "let's go out? We can finish this tomorrow."

I got up and walked to the bathroom to clean my hands, "out? out where?" She appeared behind me to wash her hands as well before closing the garage.

"I dunno- let's go to the mall? We can buy matching outfits," She laughed and walked out the front to unlock the car, "we can be a couple."

I smiled at the last comment- oh how I wish. I've grown accustomed to this, though. There were still butterflies here and then when River would smile or her tongue stuck out as she focused on tasks, but I learned that if I ever confessed my feelings it would impede the happiness of our friendship. She would be shocked and need time to think about herself, then I would overthink and set expectations that ruined my chances. Being friends was a better option.

The mall was always empty and dead, the employees looked so bored. We walked in and out a few stores to check them out.

"Hey!" River pointed at a shirt with the Office on it, "let's buy these!" I complied and paid $30 with a shirt that had Michael's face on it- he wasn't even my favorite character, but whatever. We stopped by Jamba Juice to buy a smoothie and saw Dani working her shirt.

"Of course you'd be on shift when I come," I rolled my eyes when we walked up to the register, "that hat is stupid on you."

"I'm making money," She sighed and looked over at River, "um, River?"

"That's me," She laughed, "I'm guessing you're someone from elementary school. I'm sorry, I don't remember you."

"Danielle Yoo, it's okay I was really to myself. I'm happy you're back, hope you're enjoying yourself in this lifeless town."

"I actually missed it a lot," River cleared her throat and nodded, "thanks though."

Dani ended up giving our smoothies for free and River drove us back to the abandoned railroad. We laid down on the blanket we brought, drinking our smoothies while playing "I spy."

River sighed and sat herself up, "quick question- why haven't you found yourself a girlfriend yet?"

I was taken back at her sudden thought, "no offense, but not everyone in Leavenworth is as easy to figure out. And there's not any girl here that catches my eye."

"Really?"

"Really," I sat upright too. The years go by so fast, I wonder how people find time for something long term. In between community service, finals, and college applications, I couldn't even take care of myself- how was I suppose to give someone else attention?

"What about me?" River stretched her arms out, "if I had stayed.. would you have dated me?"

Is this even a question, River? I love you.

"Eh- maybe."

She scoffed, jokingly looking hurt, "maybe?"

I ignored her comment and continued to look straight ahead, it was a talk that I didn't want to have. It would've worried me even more.

"I would date you."

As my brain processed that information, the spit I swallowed went into the wrong hole and I started to choke, "w- what?"

"If I stayed, I would have dated you," she started to make hand gestured, "given the chance."

Please, River- please tell me you are just saying that to make me laugh or punch you in the arm. Don't say it seriously.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

And don't go on about how I'm a great person to be with.

"You're- you're a unique person. Someone that I would like to know, more than a friend. Again- given the chance to if I stayed."

A dry laugh escapes from my lips, "I guess I would say the same."

"Now let's drop this subject because it's awkward and we're each other's best friends," River checked her phone for any notifications, "we've also got paintings to finish."

I picked up the blanket as she grabbed our empty drinks, her figure moved forward and I stayed behind to think about what she said.

"If given the chance"

Her hair flew over her shoulders and I could see her scouting a new idea to paint- I wish I had the talent and ability to because what I'm looking at right now was a perfect picture.