//c/o/p/i/n/g// \\b\r\a\l\l\o\n\\

Ch 10: they could care less, as long as someone'll bleed

tw// emotional topics, drinking, mention of self-harm.
brendon's pov

sobering up was fun. i wish it was, though. having something to do to fill the time whilst sobering up would be nice, so i could get shit done.

dallon has been looking at me the whole time like i murdered someone. i murdered something though, my sobriety. damn stress, never a good excuse.

eight hours pass, it's 11'ish now. fuck it. he was tired, i was tired and my head was still lightly spinning, so we agreed to showering in the morning and talking about today later.

morning comes, and the tall ass loving motherfucker i have for a boyfriend wakes up at 6 am to shower. and to yesterday's word, i'm up, too.

my head's not spinning, and i remember what i did wrong. i look at dallon's slightly toned chest with water running down it and smile. i'm lucky to have him.

we stand there together under the hot water, simply enjoying the presence of water itself and each other. we get out at about 6:45, and sit down in the living room at 7 after eating.

"bren, bumble bee, why did you go out drinking yesterday? you know it hurts me when you drink." dallon starts when we finish breakfast and sit down. i sigh.

"i don't have a good excuse, no excuse will do dal. i just felt stressed and it was the first thing that came to mind. i know i should depend on you more when this happens."

i continue. "i'm sorry, and from now on i promise when i get a withdrawal or craving i'll call or text you. i can promise you that." i end with a promise, maybe it'll work.

he smiles at me softly. this is probably exactly what he wanted. a promise to keep clean. a promise to live.

"if you were a paying client, i would say to make a promise you can keep, but you pay with your presence, so i'll say don't make a promise you can't keep"

i smiled at his comment. pay with your presence. cute, but i think the only way to grt over this is to finally cancel my regular therapist. i have dallon.

i need to voice this. we talked about it earlier, but it never happened. i need this. we need this. i want to keep this relationship, and i want to trust dallon completely.

"dallon, i want to stop therapy with dr. mcclaren. i want to be with you and you only. i trust you to help me through getting clean and staying sober."

there, i spoke my mind. i said what he probably thought i would say. i want him, i love him.

"really brenny? really? you trust me to help you? oh, i'm sp happy you trust me enough! we have so many things to do! we have to transfer your files and continue the trust--"

i cut him off with a kiss. he can tell me all of his plans later. right now, i just want him.

a/n:
hiiii
i'm not dead
mIgHt Be SmUt In ThE nExT cHaPtEr
also sorry for not updating in such a long time

i also got my fonts/italics working so im kinda hyped

stay safe everyone, quarantine sucks

word count: 556