no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
this could not be happening.
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
why'd i listen to my sister?
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
i can't tell him, he'll freak out and leave me. i don't want him to leave me.
you may wonder what all the 'no's' are about. im pregnant. and i'm freaking the fuck out.
"diana!" i scream at my sister. i hear her footsteps running.
"so, are you?" i slowly nod my head.
"that is so exciting!!" she yells out. i was excited but i wasn't. if that makes sense.
"he's gonna leave me." i whisper. i run my hand through my curls. i'm stressed. his reaction playing in my head makes me feel really stressed.
"if he leaves you, he's leaving that baby. and when he sees you years later, you're gonna be a hot mama. and he's gonna want all that-," i cut her off.
"i get it, diana." she laughs nervously.
"as i was saying, he's gonna regret not seeing his kid grow up, and that'll be all his fault." she was right. i'm gonna tell him. and if he didn't want this baby, it's his fault.
i made my way to his apartment. we haven't decided to live together, because of me. thinking the relationship was moving to fast.
but me having his baby is fast. i unlock his apartment door, since we did give each other keys to each others apartment. since i thought things were moving fast.
he was playing some stupid game on the xbox. sometimes it makes me mad when he pays more attention to the game than me. but you get used to i guess.
i make my way over to couch he was playing on.
"hi baby." he says greeting me, but looking at the tv screen.
"hi." i say smiling.
"we need to talk." that sounds like i'm breaking up with him. which i'm not, unless it goes south.
he quickly directed his focus to me, i said those words. he took his headset off. maybe i should use those words more often. i smirk to myself mentally.
"are you breaking up with me?" he starts to pout. i pull him closer to me,
"no, silly. i just have something to give to you, and i'm not sure you'll like it." i say ending up biting my lip.
"whatever it is, it'll be fine." he smiled reassuring me, that he'll be okay. (he wasn't.)
i pull out the pregnancy test, and hand it to him. he hasn't looked at me yet. his face was hard to read. i repeatedly kept biting my lip.
he kept looking at the pregnancy test hard making sure he wasn't going insane.
"you're pregnant," he paused still making no eye contact with me.
"and it's mine? " he looks up at me. i see his beautiful brown eyes. i get lost in them for a minute.
"yes, jack, it's yours." he has no emotion. it looks like his soul just left his body.
let's just say, he wants to keep the baby, but his reaction for it, i can't explain.
he broke plates, walked out the door telling random people he was gonna be a father. ( a lot more happened than that) he was a bit bipolar of the situation. he finally calmed down after 2 hours.
"are you done?" i asked him, and his dramatic self.
"yes, yes i am." i sighed of relief. i did not want to go through that again.
"you're gonna be a daddy." i say smiling poking his chest, with my 2 pointer fingers.
"again." he says. i look at him confused. again. again? again?!
"hold the fuck up, again?" i know damn well he does not have another child. i was for real about to go off on him.
"yeah, i'm your daddy." he says smirking at me.
"you play too much," i said in relief hitting his chest. moving away from him. he pulls me closer, while laughing at his stupid joke. he got me fucked up.
