i was meaning to post this days ago. but i lost my friend to suicide. and i'm okay now, but i'm doing better? not really. the feeling of me being sad will pass. her death affected my life, andnif you ever feel like hurting yourself, please talk to someone because someone loves you out there whether you know it or not, you'll end up hurting someone badly. please talk to someone. i love all you that read my books <3 i will be talking some time after this but i will be consistently making new chapters, they just won't be posted till i feel like i'm ready to come back. but enjoy this chapter <3
-renee 🤍
i started talking to the hottest boy in school. he said i was cute and wanted to talk to me. me, cute? i wanted to turn him down because i knew my insecurities would make a play into this soon.
but how could i, i mean i did. but he kept chasing. until i said yes. he makes me feel so special. he makes my insecurities go away when i'm around.
but when he isn't around, i think about ending what we have. everyone whispers, and talks. interracial couples aren't a thing here. it's weird to everyone.
but then just one day. i stopped talking to him, and stopped answering his texts. i've ignores him in the halls. i pretended everything that happened didn't.
i feel really bad. but my insecurities really just jumped in the way. like it was crazy to have the hottest boy in school care, have feelings for you without playing you. at least i don't think he was playing me? was he playing me?
maybe it was a joke between him and his friends. maybe i was get her trust then hit and leave. what if that's what he was doing? is that why everyone was laughing? i stay embarrassing myself. i'm walking in the hall to go to my locker. i quickly put my things in because i see jack walking to me really fast. i close my locker and walk the opposite direction.
i hear footsteps behind me. a hand tugs on my arm, making me turn. i couldn't look at him in his face. my head was down looking at our shoes.
he lifts my chin up with his finger. i'm looking at a goddess right now.
"what's wrong with you?" he asked me.
"nothings wrong, i was about to go to class." i don't look him in his eyes. "y/n, come on i'm not stupid. you blocked my number, my social media, and won't speak to me in public. we're you playing me? cause if you were i'm kind of hurt, i really liked you."
"jack, it wasn't like that. i thought you were playing me to be honest. you're popular, hot, and everyone likes you. and look at me. i'm not even dateable."
"listen, i just got completely insecure with myself. me with you? how is that even possible? it's not. and we're completely different skin colors. everyone here dates the same skin." it felt good to get that out. to finally tell him the truth.
"really? you stopped talking to me because of the color of your skin? and what everyone thinks about us?" he got a little loud causing people to stare.
"jack, can you lower voice please?" he rolls his eyes and walks off. did i really fuck this up for myself?
"CAN I HAVE EVERYONES ATTENTION?" i turn to the loud familiar voice, i follow it. jack is standing on a table. what is he doing?
"see that girl right there?" he points to me and i blush really hard. i see everyone look at me.
"that girl, i am probably going to love for the rest of my life. and she cares what you think of her. and she shouldn't. and yes, we may be of different skin types. but i don't care. i think it's more of the person rather than color. so if you have a problem with us, keep it to yourself because we won't care."
he hopped off the table and grabbed my hand and we walked off.
i was more on the part where he said we was gonna love me for the rest of my life? i guess i could be lovable?
