Sugar and spice, your love is nice.

part 4: crushcrushcrush

I get to go home today...im supposed to be excited about it but i'm not. It's not that i don't want to go home it's just how bad it's gonna hurt to get there.

I have a broken arm, a broken leg, and bruised rib cages.

Brendon hasn't brought up the crush situation since last night when my dad mentioned it but i know he will soon. B isn't one to leave things alone.

I'm alone in the hospital room right now. My mom went to go get me some comfort food for when i come home and Brendon went to go make my bed so i can lay in it all day every day for the next week. I know to most teenagers that's like heaven but to me it's very dreadful.

Brendon walks in the room wearing tight black pants and a red shirt and my god he is the hottest guy i've ever seen.

"are you ready to go?" he smiles at me.

"not really but yea." he helps me get in my wheelchair. i feel like an old person.

when we get home my mom is waiting for me on the couch with a bunch of unhealthy snacks. "Are you trying to fatten me up, mom?"

she laughs and stands up to help Brendon take me upstairs to my room.

"No, not at all, these are snacks you used to love when you were a kid."

I feel like i'm going to snap in half.

"I don't think i can eat anything." she gives me a look of disapproval.

"You have to eat, honey." she says as she and B help me get in my bed.

"No, I literally don't think i can eat."

My mom looks sad. The last time my mom looked this sad was when my dad walked out on us when i was five. Brendon would come over to every day to check on me and my mom after that. I think that's when I realized I really had a crush on him.

"I'll get her to eat Ms.Bullock." Brendon says smiling at me.

He's never called my mom by her first name he's always used her last name even when she asks him to call her Terry.

"Thank you, Brendon." she says. She walks back downstairs and now it's just me and Brendon all alone up here. He lays on my bed beside me so we're both looking at each other.

"So let's talk about this little crush you have on me." I knew he wasn't going to leave it alone. Why does he even care so much. It doesn't make any sense.

"Why don't we talk about your friend Ryan. He's kinda hot." he laughs. I'm not lying though, his friend is hot.

"So now you have a crush on my friend too, huh?" why did my mom leave me alone with him.

"No i didn't say i had a crush on either of you." I'm technically not lying.

"go out with me." he says smiling really big. Brendon Urie did not just ask me out. No way, not possible.

"What?" i give him a look of confusion.

"go out with me" he repeats himself as if i didn't hear him the first time. I am definitely dreaming. That's all it was last time, a big fat dream.

"No." his smile fades. Maybe it isn't a dream. Maybe Brendon Urie is actually asking me out.

"why not?" he sounds like a two year old when they're parents won't let them get a candy bar in the grocery store.

"Because i'm dreaming and you're not actually asking me out." Now he looks confused. Am i dreaming?

"You're not dreaming, Chels." he's adorable. I'm not sure what it is about him that makes me feel all tingly inside but i kinda like the feeling.

"I'm still not going out with you." he frowns.

"But i want you too." he takes my hand and smiles at me. Fuck he's so cute.

"No you don't you just want to make me feel better." he gets up and grabs my guitar.

"I wrote a song." he smiles and starts playing it.

"When the world gets too heavy, put it on my back, i'll be your levy.......It was always you, falling for me.....i'm a fly that's trapped in a web......it was always you, falling for me.....I'm the light blinking at the end of the road, blink back to let me know."

He puts the guitar down and lays back down beside me.

"It's called 'Always'." he says smiling at me. I'm smiling too.

"i'm sure the girl you wrote it for will love it." He takes my hand again and our fingers intertwine.

"do you?" he's still smiling but my smile has faded.

"Yea i do but my opinion isn't important because you didn't write it for me." he sighs. Neither of us are smiling anymore.

"Chelsea i wrote the song for you." he stands up. There's another girl. He didn't write that song for me. I'm not special. He just sees me as a friend...right?

"where are you going?" i ask him.

"I'm going home. I'll be back tomorrow." he kisses my cheek and leaves. I refuse to believe that Brendon Urie, the guy who i've had a crush on forever, wrote a song about me.