Sugar and spice, your love is nice.

Part 15: Cigarette Daydreams

"Oh and Ryan's also gay!" I open the door and yell at my mom.

"So is Brendon! There a thing!" I slam the door again. I look out my window across to Brendon's room. Him and Ryan are standing in there. They look like they're arguing.

I rest my head and on the window sill and stare at them. I miss them both so much. Brendon sees me staring and he walks over to the window. He raises an eyebrow at me and then he closes the curtain.

I sigh and lay back on my bed and stare at the ceiling. Why do bad things always happen to me? Why do i destroy everything bad that comes into my life? Am i a bad person?

The door opens and i jump up.

"Sorry i didn't mean to scare you." Brendon closed the door and walks over to my bed.

"what are you doing here?" I sit up and lean against the back of my bed.

"I wanted to see you." he smiles at me.

"Why are you actually here?" I ask knowing that he's lying.

"Look, me and Ryan don't have a thing." he says. I stand up.

"No. Don't do that." he looks confused.

"Do what?" He stands up and moves closer to me.

"Do that thing where you try and make me feel better by telling me something that isn't true." he laughs and walks to the door.

"I give up with you. Chelsea, I miss us just being friends. I want to go back to the way it was before all this stuff with Ryan happened." He stands in front of the door.

I stand in front of him. "Is the reason you never had feelings for me because you're gay? And what happened to Sarah?" He laughs at me.

"I'm not gay and Sarah and I are taking a break." He moves closer to me. He places a hand on my waist and he placed his other hand on the side of my cheek.

I look at his lips and he looks at mine, occasionally looking into each other's eyes. He leans down and kisses me with passion.

I wrap my arms around his neck. He pulls me closer to him. He takes off my hoodie and I slide off his leather jacket. He pushes me back to the bed.

He takes off my shirt and i take off his, still kissing him passionately. He rubs his hands up and down my body. I've waited for this moment for so long that now it doesn't feel real.

I slide my hands over his nicely structured body and slip off his shirt. He unbuttons my pants and slides them off as I slide his off.

"You're beautiful, Chels." i press my finger against his lips.

"shhhh, don't talk. Just kiss me." He smiles and kisses me again.

After we finish I lay back on my bed with Brendon's arm around me.

"Does that prove i'm not gay?" I look up at him and smile.

"Did you enjoy it?" He kisses my forehead.

"I did, yea." He kisses me.

"Not to ruin the moment, B, but i don't know if i want a relationship right now. It would be nice to have you around more again though." He runs his fingers through my hair.

"I'm starting a band. Dallon, Spencer, Ryan, and I all want to start a band and we're going to do it." I sit up and look at him smiling.

"Brendon that's amazing! I'm so proud of you!" He rubs his thumb smoothly over my cheek, still playing with my hair.

I stand up and throw on a hoodie and some sweatpants. I turn around and smile at Brendon before walking downstairs to see my mom.

She's sitting on the couch watching TV so i walk over and sit beside her.

"Hey, mom, i'm uh sorry about earlier." she's showing no emotion. She's just sitting their staring at the TV.

"It's okay." She says with still no emotion in her voice.

I stand up and walk back upstairs. Brendon's on his phone. I crawl into the bed beside him and wrap my arm around him.

I feel happy again. I haven't felt happy in so long. I still have some things that are shitty in my life but in this exact moment i'm happy.