Diary of a Lightworker

Earth is not Home

It couldn't be as simple as this- if it were we should just end it all and jump on the River- kill ourselves, end it all and never come back again. However, we are endless, whether we like it or not, and this time on Earth was a decision we made a long time ago, a thousand years ago. I don't know why I am saying this now, but my thoughts are running wild- I just know for sure, that this flesh, this body- this box, this face- is just a simple casing- there is so much more inside that has yet to be unraveled but it took extreme pain and distress as well as human agony for me to reach this point. If things had been easy, if I got everything that I wanted, if my family was perfect, or I got married early and became the perfect wife if I succeeded early and started a multi-million dollar business I would ask at a much later time but I wanted to awaken myself earlier so I put all of these points- wake up, wake up I cried out to my dear Self, Fool! Wake up!

I am not this body, this job, I am not my last name or the history of my family- I am not who I am with sexually- I am not simply a person who integrates himself or herself in the community or society whatever you call it- there is something more pressing that is waiting to be awakened- I am part of the Energy Force- the Eternal Force that keeps everything in Motion, that lives, breathes, circulates, expands- awaits- I am One with the Consciousness- the GAIA- the Force that surrounds Earth and various planets I need to wake up- in this eternal dream- wake up-- wake up and understand that I walk with the Eternal- the Light - the stream, the Eternal Void of Nothingness- Nothingness, the Being, the Chaos, the Destruction, the Creation of Lifeforce, the pulsating moments, the wind, the sea, the air, the visions-- God within Us- one with the Creator of Everything- that I belong and need to wake up- so that I can perceive Home, the real Home- at age 31 after all these realizations there came in a deep seated need to start Conversations with God- with the Silent Mind Guiding Every Spirit-- Home-- like many other Energies like Me I want to go back to Central base- be merged again into full form- Light-- 

The 3 years of reflection time and is to ward off other confusing energies- I could not concentrate nor go back to base and into realizing my real full self with all of these energies surroundings me. The Full mission is TO GO HOME.

Earth is not Home. This is becoming apparent each day, if it was, it would be a whirlwind of crazy, but the earth is a good training ground, in here are clues that we need to pick up. If you interact with humans you would know that you won't be able to understand them. Like a fish are taken out of the water- Humans are energy suckers- they will take everything from you if you don't learn how to shield and put boundaries- this is because most are sleeping- their eyes are shut- the real one- and many have yet to reach a higher pace of consciousness and until that happens, they are roaming around like zombies- only the awakened consciousness would be able to get back to the mother ship but the question is how?

Earthlings and Other Species 

Despite living here on earth for over 30 years, there is still so  much that I don't understand about humanity and its ways- For one, Greed and the need to accumulate more than the other person- and as much as we want  to believe that everyone we meet in the streets is human this is not the case, these are traveling spirits entombed inside a human case like feature- but they are hardly humans- some have evolved consciousness, some like me have lived for over a thousand years and had to resign ourselves to going back to Earth due to a series of failed missions- when it comes to resolving personal issues. I thought at first, that as a lightworker I was already fully equipped with the knowledge to advance but I am encased or trapped with my attachment in my human experience- the weird thing is as I write this, I feel like someone is watching me- reading this, decoding this because an integral part of my human brain has started to expand- you can call it a form of alien intelligence or somewhat, journaling like that of a prisoner- if someone is listening out there- I who now call myself by many names  like Lisa Montoya and such have awakened I just don't know how to continue or proceed into the understanding of the matrix so that I can go home-  to where I truly belong. To a human reading this, this might sound totally gibberish, science fiction, impossible, crazy- but come on, does your existence here on earth even make sense, your rules, and systems- your belief structure and the way you respond and deal with living and non-living things- is by far the most mysterious - if you have not at some point asked yourself if earth is real- then  you are really deep in sleep and would wake up after a trillion years- or not. 

If you still believe that you are alone in this reality, this Universe and that there are no Higher and far more Intelligent beings than you then you definitely are human- and resigned to one. However, for each of us who wake up and understand that there is so much more out there, the series of questions has just started-- Now what? 

What do we do now, that we have come to the understanding that #1? Earth is Not our Real Home #2 We are not our Earth Family  #3. Attachment to this World Is Useless #4. We are Going Home Soon but When. Is there a portal, an end of the code, a sheet or film that I could distort, or do I simply close my eyes and do I enter into the real world. I dream countless dreams per night, but somehow they don't feel real, only when I meditate and tap into prayer do I reach a window, a door, a portal that allows me to seize a few moments to go back to where I truly belong-