Misstaken ✓ | #Wattys2019

8. p l a y i n g w i t h f i r e

"If this is a dream, would it be okay to do this?"

My hair pricked up at the skin contact. I usually detested being touched, but something about this made me... feel things.

Right before anything could happen, we were interrupted. Ansel came in and announced proudly, oblivious. "Ma'am, I finally found a copy of the files you were looking for —"

He stopped short the moment he realized the position we were in. Ansel quickly mumbled an excuse before dashing out as quickly as he came in.

The moment passed and Nick breathed out deeply. It made me realize that he was holding his breath. He chuckled next.

"Horrible timing, huh? I have to... talk to Ansel about that."

I wasn't going to fall for his tricks. Even if Ansel hadn't been there, Nick wouldn't have done anything.

He would have been waiting to see if I'd make the first move...

If I didn't, he would have asserted that I wasn't sane at all.

If I did, he would have broken my heart.

I crossed my arms. "Talk, huh? Is that lingo for getting rid of him?" I joked.

Nick raised an eyebrow. "That would be horribly unprofessional."

In all seriousness now, he sat back down onto the bed. "So, you've seen my files, huh?" He took them out of my hand and I relented.

Nick frowned the moment he saw the scans. All his earlier cockiness had been washed away. I could tell how much effect it had on him -- it pained him because he always thought it meant something was very wrong with him. I wished he hadn't thought of it that way, because it was beginning to pain me to hear that too.

It made me coax him gently, "If you're trying to run away from it, I think you should stop. It's hard, but sometimes we need to accept the cold, hard facts."

Or maybe I just had another motive. Accepting his condition would be a precursor to me being able to exit his life. If he wasn't so upset anymore, I could finally cut ties with him cleanly and vanish. Then my mission would have been accomplished.

But did I want that, really?

"I don't remember you ever being so wise." Nick said, flipping through the documents. "And you seem to know plenty about my condition."

"It was one of the rare times I got worried." I sat beside him. "I had to do my research."

"You sounded very intellectual when you did that. I like that side of you."

"What?"

He replied with more sadness than I expected. "If you weren't constantly throwing yourself at other guys, and we had more concrete conversations — like we've been having lately—, then we have gotten along even more, Zara."

So it wasn't Nick who had cheated. Why did that make me feel more aggrieved instead?

"Forget that I said that. You should go." He closed his files and looked away.

"No, don't take that back." I suddenly felt an urge to reach for his hand.

He gave a sad smile. "No, seriously, you should go. I have a meeting in eight minutes."

He was as exact as Cleo was. Somehow, that nearly cracked me up. "Whatever. Still, I can't believe you tried that little tactic earlier..." Heat was this close to rushing up to my face when I thought of how close he was.