B.U. | Grizz Visser (The Society)

open eyes, open mind

part three.

After several hours of mindless chatter and bursts of laughter, the café closed its doors. The sun had set over B.U, breeding the area a new form of life, this time in the darkness of the night. The full moon, high overhead, bright as a high-beam on a fast-moving Toyota Corolla, illuminated each face of the make-shift friends.

Sam shoved his hands into the pockets of his thick winter coat, his neck burying into the faux-fur lacing the rim of its hood. Grizz watched as the boy took a deep breath, then exhaled, his breath visible in the cold night air.

"God, isn't it September? It shouldn't be this fucking cold," Becca complained, signing along with her words for Sam's convenience.

"Should we all head back to our dorms?" Sam asked, his fingers and palms moving quickly to sign before retreating back to the warmth of his pockets.

"We could get moving," Grizz chimed in with a bizarre suggestion, earning two confused looks from Sam and Becca. "I mean," Grizz continued, "do something fun. If you're moving then you're not cold, you know?"

"What did you have in mind?" Sam asked softly, leaning toward the boy.

Grizz smirked down at Sam, standing a solid 3 inches taller than him. He held eye contact for a few moments, then tore his eyes off the beautiful boy, motioning to Becca as well.

-

"Not too fast, not too fast!" Becca half laughed and half screamed as Grizz continued running, his hands firmly gripping the shopping cart. She was laid back inside the cage, barrelling around the parking lot. Sam watched from a few meters away, laughing at his friend's fear and excitement.

Grizz slowed his pace and brought the cart to a stop, his smile etched into his cheeks like a needlepoint design on a pillow. He couldn't stop it, even if he tried. Becca climbed out of the cart.

"Ready Sam?" Grizz asked, raising his brows and tapping the grocery cart with his fingers.

"Where did you even think to do this?" Sam asked with a laugh, moving toward the taller boy and his cart.

"The boys and I used to do shit like this all the time."

Sam placed a hand on the cart and attempted to hoist himself up, feeling the cart wobble and roll underneath him as he moved. Grizz quickly leapt toward him, grabbing hold of his hand and his back before the boy could fall. Grizz couldn't see it in the dark of the night, but Sam's face lit up like a stoplight.

"Thank you," Sam whispered to him as he was helped into the cart, securely and without faltering again. Grizz released his grip on the boy's hand and felt his heart race.

"Here we go!" Grizz exclaimed with a childish giggle, then leaned his weight into the cart. He moved, one foot in front of the other, like he'd done countless times, quickly and purposefully, hoping to bring Sam's contagious smile and giggles into this moment.

The boys had only just met, but they felt a connection neither of them could describe. Maybe it was the famous kind of fate, where two souls connect and form a lasting bond neither could have predicted. Grizz wasn't sure why exactly he'd chosen Sam, but his subconscious had already taken every image he had of the boy in his mind and pinned it to the bedroom wall in his own head.

"You're crazy Grizz!" Becca shouted, bringing him out of his own head. His eyes trailed over Sam, who crossed his arms over his chest as the cart began to slow.

It was getting late now, far past one in the morning, and they all had their first day of classes tomorrow. They definitely needed to get some sleep.

"I'm beat," Becca explained, running her fingers through her hair, "I'm going to head back to my res. Which one are you in, Grizz?"

"McKellan," Grizz replied, stifling a shallow yawn.

"Really?" Sam asked, chiming in, walking alongside the two of them as they made their way back to campus. "I'm next door, in Sienna."

"That's awesome," Grizz replied, the two boys sharing a moment of both excitement and relief. It was nice to know that someone he already cherished so much would be so close by.

"Well I'm up in Ravenhill so I'll catch up with you guys tomorrow, maybe?" Becca asked, pointing towards a tall, dark building on their left. Must be her res. 

"I'll see you tomorrow," Sam reassured Becca, sauntering toward her and wrapping his arms around her shoulders, tightly hugging her. Once Sam and Becca had finished their hug, Grizz approached her and scooped her up, spinning her around in his arms.

"Thanks for tonight, I missed you, and this," Grizz explained to her, holding onto her tightly, the kind of tight where, if he let go, she might disappear.

"I missed you too," Becca replied, "goodnight!" She then disappeared into the menacing, dark building and out of sight.

The boys continued on their walk, both rather silent after that. It wasn't an awkward silence necessarily, more-so a mixture of contentment and overbearing sleepiness. Grizz walked alongside Sam, synchronising his footsteps to the boy's.

"So then what's the deal with you and Becca?" Grizz asked, raising a brow toward the shorter boy. He tried to hide his disdain for the actual answer.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked, his face churning in confusion. He watched as Grizz perked up both brows further for a moment, then his face softened. "Oh," he continued, "she's my best friend, that's all. I'm gay," he explained.

Now, Grizz wasn't exactly one for sharing his feelings or his inner thoughts easily. But watching Sam be so open about something so personal really opened his eyes. As a child and in high school, Grizz was never truly able to be himself. With his father abandoning him and his mother, he couldn't fathom hurting her more than his father already had. So, when he asked if he could sign up for tap dancing, and she signed him up for peewee football, he never complained. In fact, he tried to embrace the idea of being like everyone else. And he really was, like everyone else, on the outside. However, his head was a different story altogether.

He took part in a constant battle between who he was and who he was supposed to be. His mother always told him he'd marry a nice girl and settle down in West Ham, just down the street from her. That was the path he was groomed for. But Grizz didn't want a path laid out for him, set in stone from the moment of his conception, he wanted a choice. He wanted to live life deliberately, striving for goals only he knew he'd be able to achieve. He wanted to love to the deepest of its parameters, soar high like an eagle in the wind, he even wanted to lose something and feel that gut-wrenching pain, to further appreciate the depth of human emotion. He loved literature, and the only way he'd ever felt those things was vicariously through his favourite characters. But now, living here, with these new experiences soon to pass, Grizz felt he could finally live.

"Oh, okay," Grizz replied, a grin flashing over his face, his mouth closing rapidly before he could say something to embarrass himself in front of the boy.

"This is me," Sam spoke softly, pointing toward a small building just in front of them. The building was decorated with red brick walls and wooden window frames, stretching around its exterior. "It was really nice to meet you, Grizz."

"You too," he replied, awkwardly shifting his weight on his feet as the boys stood face to face. His eyes locked with Sam's, and the two both froze, unsure of what to do in this moment. "G-Goodnight," Grizz managed to choke out, nodding his head for one final farewell, then turning on his heels toward his residency.