Sigma/Star

Chapter 106: Tree Trunk

Ardwen sat down next to Porter on a log. He sunk his feet into the sand of the beach, looking out over the sparkling waters of the ocean. They had been on the island for two days now, and not a single word had been spoken among them. Once they had arrived they had scattered. Only Sigma and Shotuku had gone around talking with each student, and they had all met Roth and Allyson once again before going their separate ways. It seemed that nobody wanted to acknowledge what had occurred on the battlefield or who was missing from among them.

"You couldn't have done anything different." Ardwen picked up a shell from the beach and flipped it between his fingers, feeling the ridges along his skin. He whipped it out towards the water, watching it skip a few times before sinking. The sun reflected off the spray that shot up, flickering in front of his vision and blinding him for a moment and he smiled at the perpetual positive symbolism that could be found in nature.

"It's not about doing things differently. It's not really about anything."

"Well nobody is talking."

"We don't have anything to say anymore." Porter didn't move his head while he spoke, his gaze transfixed on the horizon. He had been here for both the days, just staring at the world outside the island, and Ardwen hadn't been the first person to approach him, though nobody else had spoken to him as of yet.

"Then maybe we should acknowledge what happened back there."

"A lot of things happened." Porter's short answers shut down any attempt by Ardwen to break through to the youth. The pair sat for a while in silence once more, and Ardwen found a few more shells over the time to whip into the ocean.

"Fine, if we can't talk about the past, then what do we do in the future?" Ardwen shifted his body to face Porter, trying to gauge the young man's emotions. Porter's face was a blank though, hollow and devoid of emotion, he continued to look forever forwards. Finally, after a brief moment of emptiness between the two, Porter's eyes slid over towards Ardwen.

"You need the past to make the future."

Ardwen resisted an urge to throw his hands up in frustration. He was tired of cryptic messages and unspoken feelings. He wanted something resolved and he wanted it now. "Chase is dead Porter." The teen flinched at hearing the words, and Ardwen recoiled a bit. He hadn't expected such a reaction out of the stoic Porter. An ocean breeze stirred between the two of them, blowing a few leaves down off an overhead tree. The leaves fluttered down onto Ardwen's lap before sliding to the ground. "Listen, I didn't want anyone to die either. I was the squad leader, that was my plan, and that loss is my responsibility. But Chase didn't die so we could mop and sit around and pity ourselves. You and I both know that."

"I know it, but it doesn't bring him back from the dead." The wind ruffled Porter's hair as he spoke, exposing his eyes to Ardwen. They were ringed with red and clearly exhausted. It seemed Porter hadn't slept the entire time he had been sitting here and had spent every second of the last two days mulling over everything. "You know, we shouldn't have been there."

"You shouldn't have been in Beijing either." Porter gave Ardwen a surprised glance, raising an eyebrow towards his friend's knowledge. "Shotuku told me." Ardwen shrugged before smiling. "We've all done some pretty crazy things before. We snuck into the Omnicorp, you and Chase went down to the United Eastern States, we fought Gremlins without our Goliaths or the aid of the teachers, and we've been deployed multiple times now. Remember when you nearly died in the mountains fighting Sigmeund? What would have happened then? You could've been killed when you were only supposed to buy time. Chase died when we were at war with an enemy we've never experienced before, that nobody has ever experienced before."

"It's not about whether we should be in a location or not." Porter suddenly stood up from his seat on the log, his fingers clenched into shaking fists on either side of his body. "There shouldn't be any of this war, there shouldn't be any death or violence or fighting all so that one country can say they own more than another country. My brother doesn't have a body, my father doesn't have a life anymore, and I'm now missing a friend. And who else has died before this?" Porter opened up his hands and stared down at his palms, a tear sliding off his nose and landing on his skin. "How many people have I killed Ardwen? How many comrades did we take the lives of before?"