the relationship [sequel]

midnight kisses

My head felt heavy when I finally made my way back to my hotel room, and all I wanted was to lay down and forget everything. I couldn't tell whether I had helped, made things worse, or merely added more fuel to the fire that was raging on Twitter.

The room was dark which made my face fall even further because it meant Namjoon wasn't there. All I needed was a cuddle. Someone to stroke my hair and make me feel a little less alone in the world.

Dropping my clothes on the floor absentmindedly, I crawled into bed and rested my head on the pillow. No matter how tired I was I couldn't sleep. I lay awake, my eyes burning and itching from the tears that were threatening to come out.

"Baby..." My heard turned to see a figure illuminated in the doorway, and Namjoon rushed in to where I was.

And just like that the tears fell. They rushed down my face like a waterfall, and nothing I could do would stop them. Choking, gasping for air, I hung onto his shirt as I sobbed. Despite being fully clothed he jumped into the bed to hold me close to him.

Shuddering, I finally finished and wiped my eyes which were now aching from how much I had cried. Leaving a small kiss on my forehead, he sighed.

"I'm so proud of you," he whispered, rubbing small, comforting circles on my arm with his thumb, "You were so strong, like my own knightess in shining armour."

I chuckled at this, finally looking up to face him. His own eyes looked tired, almost like the spark that had once been there had been sucked out of it. But it still shone dimly.

Pressing a kiss to his lips, I melted into his touched as he cupped my jaw with a strong hand. Broken, but still very much near to each, we kissed softly and tentatively like we were afraid of breaking something else. With our lives on fire around us, I felt like perhaps it had all been a dream when I was in his arms. It was like the bed was our mirage.

Slipping his hand under the fabric of the loose pyjama silk shirt I was wearing, I shivered at the warmth of his hand. Cupping one breast, I moaned into the kiss as he continued to allow his hand to wander across the expanse of my body. My mind got so lost in the trailing of his fingers that my brain seemed to forget all that had happened.

The pain faded away.

Unbuttoning his shirt with shaky fingers, I pushed myself closer to him so I could feel his warmth. Breaking away from his lips, I attached them to his chest where I left a series of sloppy kisses that made him hum in approval.

Discarding our other clothes, we were breathless and naked. He looked at me with an unrecognisable emotion in his eyes, and slowly his eyes raked down my entire body. Kissing me one more time, he positioned above me so that our faces were almost touching.

As he pushed himself inside me, I felt my emotions heighten. His thrusts were gentle and soft, and our moans were breathy in the night air. Burying his head in the crook of my neck, it felt like we were one person with two hearts. We didn't need to speak to know that both us were feeling the same thing.

This felt like the end. Neither of us were going to admit it, but this felt like the way you fucked someone you were going to lose. Almost like he was moving so slowly to savour the memory.

I was sick of crying and so I held the tears in my eyes, instead diverting my attention to Namjoon's back which I rubbed softly as he reached his own high. Falling down next to me, he curled into a ball next to me and laced his fingers with mine.

"Where are we going?" he whispered, and the lump in my throat was growing.

Separate directions, I wanted to tell him. But instead I just held him closer and wished that I could reverse time.

I missed smiling with him, and I cursed myself for not making the most of that period when we were blissfully happy. How was I supposed to know that at the end of the rainbow was just a wreck of ruined dreams and misery?

He fell asleep soon after this, his shallow breaths filling the room and I still couldn't sleep. I was reminded of a night the year before when I had tried to kiss Namjoon, I remembered the embarrassment that had consumed me.

I would have traded anything to be that girl again.

-

well aware that we haven't had a happy chapter in a while but that's how the world works.

please vote and comment if you enjoyed 💜