Tainted heart!

Lost in him

We decided to meet the day after he arrived cause it was pretty late and my parents are the "asian parents" (If you know what i mean). I had my morning classes which I was so looking forward to bunk cause i knew I wouldn't be able to get up that early. How? Because the whole night i was wide awake thinking about what ifs and what not. As predicted, i missed my classes.

Ugh!! What a great way to start your day.

"I will be there at 11. Be there soon." his message read. My heart skipped a beat thinking about our FIRST DATEEEEE. "What should i wear?" "How do i put on some makeup and be a presentable?" Why wasn't I finding anything decent to wear. Not knowing makeup felt like a major setback. I called my savior; my best friend to help me out as i was driving myself insane. She picked out my outfit and did a minimal makeup. I looked in the mirror and i must say,she did a pretty good job. She chose  this skinny high waisted denim pant and paired it with a blue and white striped crop top which had a cute little bow. To complete my look i wore a golden two layered necklace and carried my white cute bag.

Putting on my nude heels, i was ready to run cause he was already there. On my way all I could hear was my pounding heart. I finally reached the place where we decided we meet but he wasn't anywhere in my sight so i called him. He said he could see me which literally stopped my breath. With one hand in phone and the other waving at me, i saw this handsome man walking towards me.

He was standing right in front of me; tall and virile in his gray and red attire. He wasn't any different than i imagined him. He was catastrophically beautiful. His mesmerizing eyes, that hold my world within them captivated me. Everything about him enthralled me and was drugging my senses.
My stomach was twisting and turning. I was trying hard not to act like some crazy 17 years teenage girl. It was a real struggle for me not to stare at the man in front of me who had my heart in his hand and had the power to either make me the happiest girl in this whole universe or crush me with just one word.
It wasn't awkward at all. How could it be? We had  been talking for this day to come and it was happening. A slight brush of his hand on mine and i felt electric jolt. My heart was throbbing so loudly, I was afraid he would hear it. While in his arms I realized how much i fell for him. I looked down at our intertwined hand and there was something i loved more than anything at that moment.

His smile
His eyes
His warmth
Him.

At that moment I realized that there was nothing thar could ever change my feelings for him cause it was so intense. With his tender skin against mine, I felt safe, I felt loved, I felt complete. Holding him close to me, felt like I have everything I would ever want. Without even realizing, time went by so fast. I knew we couldn't stay there forever but i was dragged down to reality when he said he had to leave. We stayed there holding each other tightly not wanting to let go but no matter how hard we wanted to stay together we had to part our ways.

"I Love You", he whispered those magical words in my ears. With a small puff of air after the last 'you', his words shake me up. A chill runs through my bones. His voice and the volume of the same held me aback and I was lost! Lost in his words, his arms and everything in him!

Oh! How i wish i could freeze the time.
The moment he left, i craved for him more than i crave for fucking oxygen. With him i felt him form every pieces of me and when he was gone, i felt decapitated. incomplete. dysfunctional. I cant't put in words how contentment I felt in my heart for having him. Every bit of him, that belonged to me, I felt luckier.

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I had goosebumps writing this. The feeling is still so fresh.

Xoxo💋