Tainted heart!

"Hey!! It's been 6 months since we last talked. How are you?" I get a message from an unknown number.

I was trembling when i knew who it was. It was him. The man who i was head over heels for. The man who not just broke my heart but destroyed it.

Why does he even care now? It's been months suffering for loving someone so deeply. Life was more hard than i thought it would be to not be with him. I always tried to convince myself that i can move on, that I can get past this heartbreak, that it wouldn't matter if he was with me or not, that i was happy but deep inside every time someone mentioned his name i felt my heart being ripped into pieces.

I was so furious at him for coming in my life, showing me dreams and then leaving without even a closure. Leaving me to question my worth. Leaving me with a void space in my heart which kept on asking where did i go wrong. Leaving me wondering what I lacked but all i got was a silence creeping through me.
It was freaking too hard to accept that everything ended just in a snap. Even after our breakup I was there, sitting alone thinking when this mess started. Trust me but if i knew the answers i would have moved the world just to make it right again to be with him.

Slowly i felt my vexed declining. I knew I couldn't do anything, all i could do was think that maybe If i didn't love him so much then it wouldn't hurt the way it was hurting me.
Let me tell you what's the funniest thing about loving someone is: It's when you know you deserve much more but even if your love is unrequited, you stay there. Stay there hopelessly waiting for them to realize the depth of your love. The sting of pain that you feel from the ignorance of someone you love hurts like a bitch.

Pain isn't remotely kind in that way, pain wants it's promise pound of flesh, ounce for ounce. It won't settle until you are left with nothing but a flaky shell of who you were. The burn of betrayal and the sting of rejection hurts but nothing compares to the pain of being empty. Nothing hurts worse than not hurting at all and it makes no sense and perfect sense at the same time.

How could he possibly destroy me in the best possible ways? Maybe because i gave him too much power over myself. He had the power to make me question my worth. He had the power where he could destroy me just with the flick of a wrist. He left all these good memories that were making me hard to move on. In the end he turned the things he said he won't. He assured me the world but gave me a living hell.

He wasn't worth any explaination after all the things he had done.He couldn't just show up in my life and pretend that nothing happened when he was the one that destroyed everything we had made.

"I am fine with a tainted heart." I reply back.

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Last chapter left. I wrote this because it helped me cope and express my feelings. I hope y'all like it.