Tainted heart!

Second chance

After someone has broken you in the best possible way, will you be willing to give that same person another chance? Well, you won't if you are a sane person but as everyone said "I was blinded by my love". We decided to meet so he could explain everything. He was an actor in disguise cause he feigned his sadness so well that i fell for it. I couldn't resist and so I gave him another chance to fix everything we had or you can say another chance to make me a complete mess once again. No one quite understood me as much as he did maybe that's why he came back knowing how i would take him back in the blink of an eye, how i would always want him.

He always knew how inadequate i felt because i never believed that someone like him would love someone like me, I never believed that someone like him would want to spend the rest of his life with me but he always listened intently – to all my rants, my fears, or all the questions that I would utter. Patiently explained to me that those images in my mind are not true – that those will not happen; that he won't leave me. Showed me that he was there, be the tangible proof that nothing bad is ever going to occur. I believed that he actually loved me, even with my faults and anxiety.

That's why when he came back, i thought he realized his mistakes. I took him back because i never hated him, even after all those traumas he made me go through for 5 months. For me, he was still something more beyond the games that he played and the promises that he almost but never quite really whispered into my ears. My heart never accepted the fact that for him, i was just another girl. Maybe because he never did let me go properly, did he?No, it was a matter of pride and being an alpha for him to keep a girl on the side.

He continued to be my source of light, my only source of light. How did he knew all the right words to say even without feeling anything for the person? He made me feel so good with my own body that i forgot how to be confident without him. I never believed "if you love someone, let them go" cause heck no, i will hold onto you with every ounce in my body but sometimes fighting for a toxic person can really destroy you.

I never regretted my decision to give him a second chance until that day. The day that made me question my whole existence. The day i found out that he was cheating on me. The part of me that believed in love for all of these years just packed up its bag. I had so many questions yet i wasn't able to utter a word; so many feelings yet all i felt was numbness. After being together for 3years, here i was questioning his love but mostly mine. The worst part about being betrayed is you start to believe that you lack something that's why they had to search for it in someone else.

I was this cheerful girl with a happy heart when i was with him. A slight sight of him or even a mention of his name would make me feel things that i never felt. Now all that your name gives me is pain. I am in search of aspirin.

I have no grudges against him. But this time even if he comes back i will always remember:

How i had to pick myself up again.
How i had to be strong when i felt so weak.
How i chose to love despite an example of love countering its meaning.
How i had to forgive even when the words sorry were mute.
How i had to learn to love myself again.

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THE END
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Damn! I actually completed this. It was a bittersweet experience to have walk down the memory lane all over again. But poooff, I survived. I am sorry if the story went too fast from all lovey dovey to heartbreaking because it's a short story, I didn't want to extend it more. Hope y'all had a great day and do not forget to vote if you like this.

Xoxo💋