What if?

What if You Knew?

What if you knew
That you're the reason I can't let myself wear makeup
Not because you didn't like it
But because I don't have any that's waterproof

What if you knew that this happened before you even left
Because I knew you would

You made a promise to them
Keeping it means leaving

You made a promise to me
Keeping it means coming back

What if you knew
That grief is visible
A living, growing thing

It looks like caustic ink
Raining down on flawless porcelain
Eating away at it until all that's left
Is a porous piece of glass
Which will shatter at the slightest touch
Ash and dust

What if you knew what an impact you made
The place where you always were feels hollow and cold in your absence
I dread going back there
I'm not sure if it will help me or make it worse
I'm not sure that I care

What if you knew that I think of you a few times each day
It makes me cry
People worry
I never cry
Some say I just shouldn't think about it
And at first I thought that was a good idea
But it would be an injustice to you
You deserve to be thought of
You deserve to be missed

What if you knew that sometimes
That idiotic grin
That stupid joke
That ridiculous song
Was the only thing that kept me going that week

What if you knew how much you meant to me

What if you knew how much I missed you

Would you fight a little harder to come back?