What if I called you
Like I did
On Sunday nights
With fresh tears in red eyes
What if I called you
Like I used to
When I wasn't so solitary
When I wasn't a deserted self
Who couldn't tell anyone anything anymore
Who couldn't call you and cry
Because I never cried to anyone again
I never wanted to
What if I did
What would you say
What would you do
What would I do
What if I called you
So I didn't have to be the sole sinker
And that maybe we could climb the back of the boat
Slowly but surely
With some slips along the way
But climb all the same
And you'd call
And I'd hang up
And I'd be okay
And you'd say sorry ceaselessly
And I'd say it's okay
And it never was
But that's what I would say
And then we'd say goodnight
And I'd hang up again
And then I'd sit in the dark and cry some more
And now I wonder if you'd do the same
But I never did regret calling you
But that was then
And now I am not that self
But if I did
If I called you
What would you say
A/N: unedited and not even worth publishing but i don't care
