have you ever sat down in the tub while the showers on. and just sat there. letting the water rain down on you. sometimes scalding. you'd open your eyes and the slight sting would hit you. the water in your retinas. and so you'd just sit there. soaking it all in. maybe rocking back and forth, clasping your knees with pruny fingers. maybe you should shave them. your knees. it's been weeks. but no. not tonight. and you think, well i suppose i better turn the water off. and so you do. but you're still sitting there. only now with no water pouring down. so maybe the air hits your bare skin. and maybe it's cold. but you just can't seem to feel it. and you're sitting there. under the now imaginary shower. not thinking. not dreaming. not even focusing. it's like you're unconscious but your eyes (red from the water in them) are wide open. dilated, but open. and in that moment you are nothing. and in that perhaps you are everything as well but that's beside the point. because you're sitting bare naked on a tub floor long after the water stopped running. and yet you're still there.
