in the very few moments of solace i am granted
by permission of only myself
i feel so very adequate
and that, is quite odd
for i continue in my asphyxiation from all that keeps my sane
my knees lower into toxic sand i've piled
im sinking into a grave suited for someone i wish to be
but i find no anguish at it all
in this instant
and this instant alone
and i am unsure as to why
because even now there is a dull ache to my stomach
and white noise from a sub par record spinning
but i do not find a single ounce of fret
to be sliding from these limbs
or oozing out my eyes and ears
and whether or not
that is concerning
i cannot find it in these secured veins to care
because maybe im dying
and maybe i am not
but i've struck sterling silver
as i lie here
stable in it all
in a destined demise approaching
its as if im nearly.... indifferent
