PURSUING HAPPINESS

T_W_E_L_V_E

Marchell snapped out of his trance he was sitting in and came to my side, as he's trying to calm me down more tears rolled down my face.

"Shhh...It's going to okay," he hugged me, "It's going to be okay."

He kept repeating that sentence, as if it was true but we both knew different.

Everything that has happened to me since that day, ruined me, it damaged me and every time I have to put on a facade, put on that God damn mask as if I'm okay, I have to act like I am okay, I have to act humane and I have to act like nothing really hurts. To do that might seem easy, but to do it for the rest of your fucking life, you might think it becomes easier by time but it only gets harder, is tempting.

I cried for my mother and brothers, that they had and still have to deal with me and my problems, I cried for my sister, I cried for my friends, I cried because of my past, I cried until I couldn't anymore, until my throat and eyes were desert dry but that didn't make me feel any better, only empty inside.

"I will get you some water," Marchell said before leaving the room.

I turned on my side and pulled my knees to my chest, the weight I am carrying is slowly but surly drowning me.

"Your friends are outside, must I let them in," he asked giving me the water.

"I'm not in the mood to see anyone," I said a bit harsh.

"Okay, I'll let them know." he walked back out.

It went on like this the passed two days, they will ask to see me and I'll tell either John or Marchell I'm not in the mood, they were the only too I allowed to come in here. My mother was in Africa for the two weeks so she has no clue I'm in the hospital because she will cancel the rest of the trip just to be here and that can cause her a lot of money.

It was Tuesday, and I was allowed to go home, which was actually good because everyone was in school.

Before I left Dr. Severino paid me a visit, "Well if it isn't my favourite patient?"

"Well if it isn't my stalker doctor?"

"Funny, that will actually get me fired," he chuckled. Something about him always made me forget about my current situation. "There's actually something more sensitive I want to talk to you about."

"Shoot," I sat on the bed while he stood at the foot of the bed.

"You're a beautiful girl, the things you went through or are still going through, please don't let that end your life," he said making that comfortable vibe he had disappear in seconds, the way he spoke as if he knows what he is talking about made me angry.

"You know what and I don't care if you're a doctor, the fact that you assumed I'm that weak to actually end my life, is just astonishing," I stood up from the bed, "You're standing there judging me for what you only see outside, yes I cut, yes I have a difficult past, yes my situations are not one of the best and yes I'm more in the hospital than in school but you have no right to judge me like that."

"Rose, I didn't mean it like that," he called after me as I walk to the door.

"Then how did you mean it?" I screamed at him.

"Cause I've been in that situation," he took both my hands in his, closing the door that I half opened, "I know how it feels and I want you to know that I'm more than just a doctor for all my patients, I also help them with these type of situations, I help them to see that sliver line."

"I have to go..." I pulled my hands out of his and walked out. I don't know if everything he said was true because he could've lied so that he didn't look like he was judging me, I thought to myself as I climbed into Marchell's car.