the girls of the boys

now u kno

"P-pregnant?" I asked, incredulous, my brain suddenly turned into mush and I felt like my mind was imploding. It was one of those situations that my heart started to pound and I heard it echo in my ears as I vainly tried to keep from passing out.

She shook her head sadly and wrung her hands.

"Do you know who's it is?" I pressed gently but persistently.

"I'm like 60% sure?" She said but it sounded more like a question posed to me to try and answer for her, but I couldn't produce anything but a look of shock and dread.

"60%" I repeated slowly as if the words hadn't actually gone through my mind and I had to reiterate them to make them true. "60% isn't very much higher than 50%" I stated mindlessly as my mind reeled and my lips betrayed me.

"Oh god, I know okay?" She snapped, impatient with my slow mental computing skills.

"Sorry sorry, so are you okay? Did you tell anyone?" I asked as I stepped forward to hug her. She buried her face in my hoodie and shook her head no. I let out a half defeated sigh on her behalf and stared blankly at the far wall with a blown up photo of all of us with our boyfriends from the first New Year's we spent together.

I still remember the night like it was only last night. The fireworks, the hotdogs, the blanket on the cool grassy hill. It was very close to Zayn and Becca's first month anniversary and Kirsten and Harry's 6 month. New Years was the first night I had met Louis when Kirsten and Becca had dragged me to an outing with their boyfriends because they knew I had always loved Louis from the first time I saw him in the This is Us movie at kirsten's house. We were so happy and so young in the photo. Becca had Zayn's scarf on her neck, Kirsten had Harry's fedora and Louis let me have his beanie which I still have and occasionally wear to sleep.

I was quickly brought back to the present at the sound of the kitchen door opening and slamming shut.

"Hey Kirsten," I said as I pulled back from Becca's hug slightly to acknowledge Kirsten who looked very confused by the hugging in the middle of the kitchen.

"Becca's pregnant." I said to her and jerked a thumb at Becca who looked forlornly and miserably at Kirsten as she plopped into the nearest wooden chair and focused on the floor.