Billionaires' War (Completed)

Chapter 31

I couldn't understand just how fast time goes by here. It was three months since I last saw Chloe, but it doesn't feel like it.

I make my way to Dr. Miller's office. Another session, another day. I opened the door and let myself in. He sits nicely in his chair as he greets me. "Good morning, Cora. How are you feeling today?"

I groan in annoyance. "You've been asking me that everyday since I got here."

"And I'll continue asking until you give me a sincere answer. No complaints about the food, room, and lack of new maginzine issues."

I pointed at that. "That's really starting to be a problem. I can't listen to the radio, I can't watch TV, or read a newspaper. I can't talk to anyone beside the staff and you. No offense, but I'm bored out of my mind here."

"Well, hopefully that changes soon. The past months you've been reluctant, but very opening. I want us to move you forward into the process. I hear from Nurse Kaylee that you've been having nightmares again?"

"Maybe."

"How about this. For today, I will give you food I know you will like. But only if you are completely open with me. No more holding back. Deal?"

I thought about it for a moment. "It better be good." I warned him.

"I'm sure you'll love it." He reassured.

"Fine. Where do I start?"

"Can you tell me about your nightmares?"

"It's been the same thing everynight."

"And what is that?"

"When I tried to kill myself. I just remember that day. Except, I try to fight it. I don't want to die."

"Then why did you do it?"

"Because I felt guilty." We already went over this. I felt guilty for it so I tried to take my life. Simple.

"Guilt. There it is. It's a very confusing emotion, but let me explain something to you. You can't feel guilt over something you didn't have a hand in."

"How do you even know that? What I said to him could've made him snap like I did. He signed everything over to me. He had all that prepared. He wrote me a letter. There's no way I didn't have a hand in all that."

"If you didn't specifically told him to crash, or purposely did something to the car. It wasn't your fault, Cora. You can't control what others do. You can only control what you do. Realizing that it's not your fault is a step towards self forgiveness." He takes off his glasses.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms with much defiance. "So you're telling me I have forgive myself for what happened to him?" I just sounds contradicting.

"Not neccesarily because I know it wasn't your fault. What I'm trying to say, is you have to forgive yourself from feeling guilt over something you couldn't control."

I understood what he was trying to say, but I'm just honestly done with these sessions. I feel perfectly capable of handling myself. The worst is done and over with. I don't understand why I can't just go home yet.

"Cora?" He snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I answered impulsively.

"What were you thinking?"

"How I can't go home."

"Tell me why you think you deserve to go home right now."

"Because I feel fine. I followed everything you said. Why wouldn't I be able to go home? It's been three months."