THAT'S CREEPY!

Pretty boy

I hate to admit it, but I'm a spinster. I've never lived with anyone, probably never will. I’m the loner type, and my small, isolated little renovated farmhouse is just me and my books. Apart, of course, from my parrot. Nobody warns you, but parrots are hard buggers to keep – still, I have a soft spot for them. They’re capricious, neurotic, difficult and temperamental, just like me. I’m a parrot person. Anyway, I’ve had Otto since he was young, and he’s a character and a half. He does this funny thing, y’know? I keep his enclosure in my study with the big screen doors. Whenever I walk in there, and only when I do so, he likes to chirp – ‘Hey, buddy’ as a cheerful greeting. And then, if I go into the hallway towards my bedroom, - ‘Off so soon?’.

And that’s just the thing. It’s nearly midnight, pitch dark and I’m snuggled in bed with my laptop, just about to call it a night. Suddenly I hear the familiar clunks and rustles of Otto bumbling about. His antics make me smile - until he whistles sharply. ‘Hey, buddy’.

I freeze. He only does that when… My mind scrabbles frantically. Did I lock the doors properly before bed? Is this some new trick of my capricious pet? Or something more sinister? Should I shake it off or give in to the seething, rising panic churning up from my stomach? I feel sick. I’ve just resolved to get up and investigate when I hear the soft sound of someone deliberately making no sound, stifled breath, a slight iron reek wafting in the air.

‘Off so soon?’