The lost girl

Chapter 4

I jolted up in my bed sweating, and out of breath. Another dream about my parents. I turned my lamp on and get my bag. Rummaging around I found my blades. Taking one out I dragged it across my wrist. Again and again. Calming my nerves I hide the blades in a small box, underneath my bedside table. Getting a wipe I cleaned my arm and laid back in bed. It seemed like morning. I
Got up and walked around outside, listening to the birds chirping.

Everyone was up and doing stuff that Peter had told them too. It's weird I never imagined this place to be like this. Never mind real. It's a strange world, if I'm even still on it. I had put my zip up hoodie on because of the cuts, although it was boiling here I would have to live with my consequences. But it's still a little chilly here as it's probably around 8:30 am so the sun isn't fully in the sky yet, it was also pretty cloudy. So I don't think anyone would suspect anything.

Peter spotted me walking along in my pyjamas. "Hey bella" He said smiling beckoning me over. I slowly walked over, the rest of the boys continued working. Lip walked past me carrying wood "morning Iz" he smiled. I gave a small smile back but my head facing the floor.

I reached Peter and sat down with him on a sort of hollowed out tree trunks with couch cushions on. It was super comfortable I grabbed a blanket as I was still a little cold, they were there as it gets colder at night and in the mornings. I sat at the edge of the seat while Peter was at the other side. "Please, come over, I promise I won't hurt you" he gave me a small, genuine smile.

I slowly crawled over to where he was sat. It felt very awkward, but he didn't seem to sense it "how did you sleep" he asked. "Erm" I wasn't sure whether to lie or tell him. "And don't lie" he said with a stern voice. "Not very well. I had a nightmare" I said barely above a whisper. "Aww. No. You should've come to my hut or any of the other boys, they would've comforted you. Little girls need comforting when upset" love a good stereotype but nonetheless he put his arm around me. I flinched but relaxed after a couple of seconds. I knew he felt it as he frowned a little.

I liked the warmth of him, I haven't had a hug like this in over 10 years. It made me quite emotional and with the nightmare. My walls are crumbling in this place. And fast. I sniffed. Come on Bella try keep it together. I sniffed again and slowly a tear drop fell but before I could react Peter hugged me tighter and wiped it away with the pad of his thumb. "Come on darling, don't be upset, I think I know what you're thinking. I know they were horrible to you. But this is your new life. You'll always be our baby girl. Even if it takes a while for those hooligans to adjust to a girl being here" we laughed at the end. He wiped away my tears and I buried myself further into him and the blanket.

I could get used to this. I mustn't though they'll do something. oh fuck off brain. Just left me enjoy this. And with that a fell asleep.

"Hey princess, wake up" peter gently shook me awake. I'm still not used to these pet names but I'm sure I'll get used to them.

"Breakfast" he gave me a bowl. I started to panic and I think lip saw "hey bell it's ok. You eat as much as you can" he gave me a reassuring nod to which I copied. Come on. I can do this. I got some cereal and milk, taking a spoonful, it's difficult to swallow like my throats trying to push it back up. But I swallowed it. Most of the boys have me a smile they showed they were proud. Davey didn't though. He really doesn't like me.

I got three more spoonfuls in a felt like if I did another I'd be sick. "Erm. I've finished I'm sorry I can't eat anymore. You're probably disappointed. Just don't force me." I said quietly.
"Darling we will never hurt you spitefully or with the intention to hatefully hurt you. Only for discipline with spankings nothing else, ok?" Peter said taking the bowl away from me. "And we're all so proud." Seb smiled at me. With which I returned, feeling proud of myself.

As the day went on I mostly read, Peter gave me lots of new books to read. The boys are doing their work, Peter said I'd start mine in a week, to let me settle. I was laid down on the couches (I'm just gonna call the because they're definitely not a bench), I carried on reading but I was getting a lot warmer. I went up and got some water repeatedly. I think some of the boys noticed and they watched my go back and forth to the tap. Georgie came over when I went to go fill my cup up again, he put his cup under the tap and filled it. "Are you ok?" He asked. Looking down I mumbled a "yeah I'm fine"
"Well you don't look fine, you look as though you're about the faint, take the hoodie off it's sweltering out here" he said reaching towards the edge of my hoodie. "NO!" I shouted and ran to my hut.

My breathing is laboured and my heart is going at 100 miles per hour. I sat in the corner and tried to get my breathing back to normal but it wasn't. Sitting in the corner again I was shaking. I could hear Georgie telling someone what happened.

Peter came marching in with Georgie right behind. "Isabella what's happened" Peter said sternly while cupping my face. I avoid all eye contact and tried to get out of his grasp. "Right Isabella. Breath with me. In and out. In and out. There we go good girl" following his breathing, it evened out. My emotions are so fucked up here. "Now Isabella take off the jacket" Peter continued with his stern tone. I shook my head. "It wasn't a question, now take it off" I sat there and didn't move. "Right then, Georgie help me take it off" I was limp and exhausted probably from heat stroke mixed with a small panic attack. I'm becoming so weak even I'm getting annoyed at the cry baby I've become.

I kept my eyes on the floor as they peeled the jacket off me. I heard them both gasp when they got to my forearm. They had bled a little so when the sleeves were taken off the cuts they bled more. I feel uncomfortable. They're just gonna think I'm a freak. I tried to bring my arms into my body but Georgie held one and Peter the other to stop me from taking them out of their sight. "Please don't look at me. I'm ugly" I whispered still trying to move my arms.

"No. No, you're not ugly. You've just done something stupid. But it's ok. We all make mistakes. And maybe more than once" Peter got quieter towards the end as he saw the past scars. "You're not even close to ugly. Nothing could ever make you ugly. This doesn't even come close" Georgie gave a pitiful laugh. "But please no more" he ended by kissing just off my palm before where the scars began.

"Come on, Georgie let's go get her sorted" Peter said standing up. Georgie took my hand and I grabbed onto it like a 3 year old. I knew they were taking me to the medical tent which was a gruelling walk through the rest of the camp site. I kept my head down thinking I would just get looks of disgust. I stayed close to Georgie and continued walking. I knew the other boys were staring at the mess I've caused.

When we arrived Georgie lifted me onto the high bed as I was still weak from my attack. He left and came back with a granola bar and a big glass of water. "You don't have to drink or eat it all. But you're very weak so try at least drink half the water" Georgie smiled. Peter was opening a cabinet in the corner above a sink. Pulling out bandages, gauze padding and antiseptic wipes he came back.

"It's not bad enough for me to use magic. But it's bad" Peter explained as he sat and wiped my arms. Which stung quite a lot. I ate the bar while Peter was putting things in the bin and back in the cabinet. By the time he came back I had unknowingly finished the bar and was gulping down the water. Georgie smiles at me and put his hand up for a high five, which I thwacked; proud of myself. Peter smiled as he unwrapped the bandages.

He places the gauze on my right wrist after applying antiseptic cream. He then bandages it and repeats on the left one.

Georgie jump off the bed. "Piggy back" he offered to which I gladly accepted. He ran as we laughed with peter not far behind. We then reach the other boys who smile at the scene. But with a tad of sorrow in their eyes.

Peter came behind me and whispered in my ear "princess, promise me never again. For the next month I'll be getting each boy to check your wrists and thighs, in the morning and night. Ok" he gave a sad smile "I'll try. I promise" and with that he engulfed me in a bear hug. Which I enjoyed.