The lost girl

Chapter 6

Peter was sat on bed waiting for me, I wasn't ready for this, but I don't want to get more.

I slowly walked over, "now as it's only 10, it won't be long but it has to be painful, otherwise you won't learn" he said while I stood in-front of him.

Quick enough he had me over his knee, I gripped onto his leg scared out of my wits.
"Princes. Relax I promise it's not as bad as you think" he stroked my hair. "I want you to count for me"
Smack!
"One" my voice wavered as it was so painful. Having constant pain taken away for a while makes the first signs of pain the worst.
"Two" as the second smack came down.
"Three" tears started to well in my eyes.
"Four"
"Five" I started crying, biting my lip, because it genuinely hurt more than I expected.

"Ten" I was now crying. God knows how I'll be after really big punishments, fingers crossed I won't get.
"Hey, you did really well princess, I'm really proud." Peter sat me up on his lap, careful not to hurt my already stinging ass.

It's weird I thought, I would hate him afterwards, like really hate him. But I don't, the comfort after makes me realise they do care. It was, reassuring, in the weirdest way.

I put my head in peters chest. "I'm sorry" I whispered.
"It's ok darling, I know it's a big change" Peter smiled.

We sat like that for a while. And I felt a little awkward but it was nice. I'm turning into such a freak.

I snapped out of it eventually and stood up to go out. Peter following chuckling a bit.
"What's so funny" I asked, genuinely confused.
"You just confuse me" he replied.
"What does that mean" I started getting a bit defensive. But can you blame me?!
"No need to get defensive, you just- it's like your mind switches, sometimes it enjoys the cuddling and comfort, but then you'll suddenly rip away from it and walk away. We'll have to work on that" he winked at the end.
"Well can you blame me?" I crossed my arms.
"Not even in the slightest" he came over putting an arm around me as we met with the other boys who were still in the cinema hut.

Some gave me looks of pity, and others just gave me a weak smile. Me and Peter sat back where we were previously. I winced a little when my behind hit the cushion. Purely because it was unexpected, as it stung a little but not badly at all.

I lay down on my side with my head on peters lap. The boys put on some show on the tv but I didn't pay attention. My mind is so utterly clouded.

Everything doesn't feel right, I hate not knowing the date or time, it makes me feel like I have no control. I don't understand how to make it better. Everything just feels weird.

No one understands what it is like to just up and be taken to somewhere cut off from the world. Having absolutely no human contact apart from the small number of people around me. And to top it all off they're all male! 

I feel frustrated by the clamminess and humidity. Not to mention the weird and wonderful wildlife here. I haven't even left the camp yet. I don't know if I'll ever get used to this place and that scares me.

I haven't made any bonds with the boys yet, and I'm scared that I won't. I can't live eternity with people who hate me.

Every time I think about all these things my chest becomes tighter and I loose my breath. I stand up much to the boys surprise. "Just need some fresh air" I mumble before heading out.

What am I going to do? This is the question that has been whirling through my head these past couple of days. How to I regain control over how I feel? That's difficult to do. Never mind torn away from the reality we call our home. Now I'm in a different reality. It's unnatural, freaky, astonishingly mind boggling. That's just a few words to describe my current train of thought. These got cut off by Seb coming and sitting next to me.

"Guess you're a bit bewildered and intimated by this place" he said leaning back on the log I had sat on, now accompanied by him. "How did you know?" I asked. "I can read people pretty well. And you didn't exactly hide your feelings" he laughed a bit. "I suppose I don't always conceal my thoughts very well" I laughed.
"It's not a bad thing you know. Vocalising your feelings and issues is really really important for growth of the mind and health" he leaned back.
"Well that got philosophical quick" I replied. To be honest I have no idea how to reply to that. He just laughed.

"You'll be alright you know" Seb suddenly said.
"What do you mean?"
"It takes a while to adjust, and everyone understands because, at some point we were all in your position. We'll all wait with you and be there for you" he says turning to look me in the eyes.

What he said was amazing. It genuinely made me feel like I belonged somewhere. The feeling was unnatural to me. But what I did next surprised myself.

I just lunged at Seb, and gave him one of the most thoughtful yet thoughtless hugs, I've ever given anybody. He laughed a little and put his arms around me. I might like it here more than a realise right now.

Peter walked out on our little hug fest. Once he saw us he beamed. "Have I missed something?" He laughs leaning against a tree.
"Not at all" Seb says still hugging me.
"Come on let's go back in" Peter says pushing himself off the tree and heading back in.

I jumped off Seb and went into the cinema hut smiling.

"Ooo suddenly cheery that makes a difference" davey remarked.
"Shove it" I shit him a sickly sweet smile. He just grumbled and continued looking at his phone.

"What shall we do now?" I asked.
"Well considering today is a day off from work I can't exactly show you how everything is run, but we could play some board games if you want?" Peter replies.
"Sure, I love board games, never really played them"
"Well this will be fun" davey smiles, genuine smile? No of course not. It was as sly as the serpent who persuaded Eve.