The lost girl

Chapter 11

"No one has ever made Seb open up, you really are showing your positive impact already little one" Pan said to me. I smile feeling shy looking at the floor.

Sitting on my bed I swing my legs, I wish I had something to make it easier to sleep. I was getting ready for bed and I didn't want to. "Pan can I stay up for an extra half an hour" I ask looking at him with puppy dog eyes.
"No darling" he says folding some towels in my cupboard.
"Pleaseee. I'm really not tired" I beg.
"No bella. Stop asking" he says looking at me with a glare.
"But-"
"Do you want a spanking?" He snaps with a cold tone.
"No sorry" I go back to swinging my legs and looking at the floor.
"Sorry what?"
"Sorry sir" I mutter out. Still not used to the discipline.

"Goodnight little girl, sleep well" Peter left my room and turned the light off. I turned my lamp on as soon as possible. The dark is something that has bad memories and I hate it, being in a new environment is scary enough, never mind having the mental baggage I have. I lie in bed adjusting the sheets, constantly smoothing them out, the anxiety bubbling up within my chest and spreading throughout my body. What if this whole thing is just a figment on my imagination, a coping mechanism and I'm really beaten into some coma by them. What if this isn't real, what if I'm dying and I don't even realise because my mind has made up this whole thing. Magic? Peter Pan? Surely not. Oh god I'm dying, I'll never be able to realise. Why am I having panic attacks in my subconscious? Oh my god. None of its real.

Hyperventilating I claw at my neck, hoping to somehow guide the oxygen into my lungs. I feel the skin build up in my fingernails as I let out a strangled sob. Why am I having so many panic attacks? I guess it's because I've let every guard down therefore leaving me exposed to my explosive emotions. Scratching off my bandages I reopen all the healing wounds width then scratching, it stung, I want to feel something, anything to make me feel human, real.

"BELLA!" I heard a distant voice, but all I could focus on was the screaming voice in my head telling me to wake up. "NOAH GET PAN NOW!" The voice shouted. Suddenly I was pinned down with my hands being held, I look and see Seb on top of me, "Bella look into my eyes" He said slowly. I focused on the dots on his face, trying to slow my breathing.

My eyes snapped to the side as Peter burst through my doorway, with a panicked face. He saw Seb sat on top of me holding my hands; his eyes moved down to my neck where the nail marks were visible. His eyes soften, "Oh darling" he says sighing, a defeatist tone lacing his words. My breathing calmed, "nothing feels real" I cried, "how can this be real?" I continued the tears running down the side of my head as Seb was still on top of me.

"Seb get off her she's calmed down enough" Peter held the bridge of his nose. Seb climbed off me and sat to me side, helping me sit up he started to comb through my hair with his fingers. "I know it's hard to grasp but it's better not to deep it, otherwise such an otherworldly life like this can be too much for your brain to process, especially as I plan on your mind regressing to heal" I nod feeling tired.

"Seb go get an antiseptic cream, and some bandages" Seb nodded at Peters orders.
"Please don't leave me alone, it's too much" I whimper, Peter is now sat on the floor with me, he moves me onto his lap as he strokes my hair. I listen to his heartbeat, I grab his hand and play with his fingers, counting them as I created a closed fist finger by finger. Seb returned with the supplies.

I stay sat in Pan's lap as they both start rubbing cream on the scratches, bandaging the deeper, reopened wounds on my arms. "I was going to wait till tomorrow but I got you something" Seb said while packing the supplies away, "wait here while I get it" he left as I sat up a little on Peter. "I think you'll like this darling" he smiles, as I wonder what it could be.

After a couple of minutes Seb returns with his hands behind his back. "Okay, it may not be huge or super expensive, but Pan got me it not too long ago as a joke present, but I thought you would have greater use of it" he smiled as he revealed what was in his hands. A small fluffy soft toy, like a teddy bear but a wolf, I big smile spread across my face. I gasp and reach my hands out for him to give me it. It was even softer than it looks, I hug it and get off Peter. "Thank you" I hug Seb.
"No problem little one, glad I could put a smile on your face" Seb hugged me back, I tensed for a split second but relaxed quickly, I'm getting better at affection, go me.