🥀 Can 1 be happy? 🥀

Alone

I have the blade in my hand

I have the pills around me

I have the curtains drawn on a sunny day

I feel the numbness within me 

The feeling for being alone 

He messaged me tho

He brightened my day

He asked how I was and how I'm sleeping

I reply with im fine and hardly sleeping

Our conversations are short and he always starts them and ends them. 

I tell him I'm gay

He doesn't reply

He doesn't reply till Friday 

He said he's cool with it

But I know he's not

I have less and less messages from him 

I admit to him at school I like him

He strikes my right cheek and walks away

I broke down

I stared at the ground holding my cheek

I felt as if the whole world was gone

I walked to class and waited for him to come in

He never came

I walked home alone

I walked I'm the door only to see

Him and my sister on the couch

I looked at them in pure shock

I ran to my room and ran to my closet

I looked for my blade that I kept in my old jacket pocket

I felt the cold metal slice the tip of my finger

I pulled it out and locked myself in the bathroom 

I stared at my self and started slicing and cutting and slitting

 My body wherever I could

I felt weak as I got to my neck

I heard a knock on my bathroom door 

"who's there" i question

"Its me" he replays

I look at the blade in the mirror against my neck

I slowly put more and more pressure on it

I felt it cut through until I felt my throat collapse 

I had slit my own throat

I felt the blood bubble up into my mouth

I sit in the bath as my neck bleeds

I heard him kicking the door but I start seeing black spots

I heard the crash of the door and the scream of my sister

He ran to me and kissed me

It was long and passionate

I felt myself go numb and I lose my senses

I died in my beloved arms.

♧◇♡♤♧◇♡♤♧◇♡♤♧◇♡♤♧◇♡♤♧◇♡♤♧◇♡♤♧

Author nim ~

Hope you enjoyed. It is 2:30 in the morning so I am going to bed

I may upload tomorrow

Thank you for reading

~💐