Revelation

1.

   Kylo Ren finally retreated to his chambers after a tiresome day of commanding his new First Order. It had been a year since he killed Snoke. One year of his reign. And not one day was he ever happy. He returned to his space and retired his regal attire for the night. He slipped into bed and closed his eyes. He felt the force around him, cold, empty. He squinted his eyes shut and gripped his sheets tightly as she popped into his mind. Rey. He thought back to the throne room. Staring into her bright eyes, seeing her fear, and wanting to protect her forever. He knew he'd do anything to save her. Even give his life. But when it was all over he still wasn't enough for her to stay. He feels the pain of waking up alone ripple through him as he did one year ago. Ben rolls to the side and sighs, as he rakes his hands through his hair. Another sleepless night.

   At some point he finally drifted into the dark and falls asleep.  Ben sees something in the depths of his mind. It's morbid and ill. He's taken to a flaming Jedi temple in the desert. Burning electricity strikes the flesh of young blood, he can smell the rotting skin. Screams fill his head and horrid laughter bellows above them in the grim clouds. Rey stands next to him armed for battle. She looks fierce in her armor but gazes sorrowfully at him. As if this is the last time. He reaches his hand out to her but a shadowed figure emerges from the depths and swallows her body, sucking her to the floor. Ben tries to grab her but she's slipping away. He hears her screams and feels cold hands attach to his neck.

  He jolts up in his bed. His hands fly to his neck to find he is free. He looks to his side but no one is there.

  "Rey"

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   Rey spent her night alone, fixing droids. The rest of the gang was at the mess hall, chowing down and retelling old tales, but Rey slipped away once again. She couldn't stand being there. Forcing her happiness when in reality things were very grim. The resistance was still recovering from the events of last year. Their numbers were still down and new recruits were challenging to locate. Leia seemed to become sick more and more easily. She was losing her fire and Rey could see it, but she never stopped believing in the general. It was too much for Rey to ignore and pretend to be happy.
   She was working on an old imperial servant droid when Finn strolled in.
    "You okay, superstar?" He asked quietly as he observed her attempts to restart the scrap heap.
     Rey dropped the droid and sat back against the cold wall. She sighed and ran her hands through her long brown hair.
    "I'm struggling with more than just this droid." She shared unwillingly.
    Finn approached her slowly and slid down the wall to sit by her. He closed his hand around hers and squeezed it lightly.
   "Rey. I know things aren't great right now. But I'm worried about you. I know that we've all been through a lot and that it can be hard to share our pain with others. But since you came back from training with Luke, you've been different. I look in your eyes and see your hurting. I want to be here for you but you won't let me in. Please Rey. Tell me what happened last year." Finn pleaded.
   He stroked her palm as tears formed in Rey's eyes. They fell down her cheeks and the salty water hit her lips.
    "Being with Luke was hard. He wasn't anything like i expected, and to be honest my training was horrible." Her voice cracked with small sobs as she continued.
    "I thought, that for once, i had formed trust with someone who could help me, but i was wrong." She envisioned Ben's face. His dark eyes staring into hers, full of lust and power. Contrasting against his fair skin and black wavy hair.
     She hadn't communicated with him since Crait. She couldn't bear the pain to see him again. Just thinking of him crushed her heart more.
    "It's been hard adjusting to this." She explained to Finn.
     "Rey. I'm so sorry. I wish i could've been there for you. And i know it's hard to relive these things but don't bottle your pain away. I'm here now and i want to help you. I miss you and you're my best friend." Finn swallowed her in a huge hug as she sighed into his shoulder. She closed her eyes and let her tears fall. Tears for Luke, tears for the resistance, and so many tears for Ben.