you stare deeply at the sky with puffy eyes.
you felt like vomiting, the thoughts ran inside your head about what doyoung said about a month ago. it was still sickening to you. you were by his side since you guys were little kids..why is he suddenly saying it now?..
"you're always so fucking full of yourself y/n! you've never cared about me and always left me lonely. why can't you just leave me and my girlfriend alone? oh, are you sad that you aren't gonna get attention?? because of you..i've never cared about myself nor my family..all because of what you fucking did. stay away from me. don't ever talk to me. again."
i still clearly remember. honestly,
why is he so full of himself?..he never knew that his girlfriend cheated on him with several different guys, his family planning to disown him. just because they didn't like me? he says i don't care about him..but what about the time i was by your side when your grandma passed away? when everyone teased you because of you being an outcast? when you fought with taeyong? when you got 20th for the march mock exams and decided to switch majors and was completely confused with liberal arts but became better at it and got first? ..you talking to me about your problems? your family comparing you so much to your brother?
and..you say i didn't care? do you think i even have time for myself?...no. all my time is spent on you.
all because i had feelings for you. i was devoted for you. until you got a girlfriend.
i knew there was something wrong..and it was true.
why can't you just believe me? are you too scared to face the truth?
even though i really liked you. i still wasn't mad that you got a girlfriend. as long as you were happy. the look you gave her, the warmth between you two, it was what ive always wanted to feel like with you.
it's been a month since we last saw and contacted eachother.
he probably already forgot about me.
-
i strolled around the street, walking with taeyong. "hey what do you wanna get? my grandma and i own a rice cake shop and i'd love to introduce you to her!! oh and psttt. we can get some free rice cakes if you'd like" taeyong nudged my shoulder,
"sure. i haven't seen you talk about the rice cake shop in like forever." i chuckled.
"yeah, yeah..and my grandma said there's a regular customer there, she never got his name but what she does know is that he's reallyyy nice."
"oh it's a he? im uninterested." i sarcastically roll my eyes.
"stop being such a lesbian, baby" taeyong held my hand and continued to walk.
"what do you mean? im saying im uninterested because i got you already." you smirk, smacking the back of his head. you guys must've been surprised ay? me and taeyong have been together for over 3 years now. after what happened with whom i forgot the name of, he was always by my side and i was always by his.
we walked into the little shop and greeted his grandma. "granny!! it's been so long." taeyong hugged his grandma. "oh? who's this? your girlfriend?" his granny asked.
"yup. granny, this is jung y/n! i've told her a lot about you so i don't think i need to introduce you to her." taeyong smiled ear-to-ear. "ah, you still remember me? im glad. nice to meet you y/n. taeyong has really good taste in woman so im guessing you must someone who he really loves" his grandma smiled.
"yah..granny. that's a bit embarrassing.." taeyong shyly rubbed the back of his neck.
"that's good to know at least-"
"ah! grandma! i sent the honey rice cakes to jo-" a voice stopped. wait,
the voice seems a bit way too familiar.
"y-y/n?.." he spoke.
doyoung?...
"oh you guys must know each other! wait a minute while i cook some more rice cakes." the grandma walked to the kitchen.
taeyong grabbed my hand and scooted me closer to him. "wait, y/n." doyoung sighed.
"save it for later. you know what you fucking did." taeyong furrowed his brows. "doyoung..i.." i looked down.
why am i suddenly so fragile and weak after seeing him again? why does he always give an impact on me?
"y/n. i broke up with sejeong. im sorry i didn't realise it any sooner and about my family..you..were right. maybe my family hated me, tried to disown me, even tried to sell my body..i was compared too much too so i ran away from home. honestly you were my only hope so went to your house but..no one answered. i heard you moved in with taeyong and.."
"i just..im so sorry."
"i forgive you." i looked away. "yet, you never knew how much i suffered. just for you." i held onto my tears, trying so hard not to cry.
"i..i loved you yknow?.. i disregarded my family and decided to run away from home just because you told me my family isn't good for me. you told me that you'd always be by my side. you said you'd comfort me when im sad. why are you so bad at lying? when my mother passed away. you didn't even fucking care. when i failed my exams? oh you said 'you? failing exams?..' you laughed it off and i was serious, we were gonna face the biggest exams of our lives. when i had my first boyfriend? you didn't like him immediately and told me i should've broke up with him. when i cried and had nobody? i called you. no answer. texted you? you never texted back. trying to talk to you about it? all you said was "yeah, yeah." you never listened to me." i said a mouthful, tears starting to fall.
"w..why?"
"because i fucking loved you, doyoung. i wasted all my time and energy on you just because i fucking loved you!"
you shouted, crying.
"i hate you, kim doyoung. remember that." you finished, wiping away the tears. doyoung felt his heart shatter.
"ive got someone better now. it's better to waste my time on taeyong rather than wasting time on someone like you." you looked away. doyoung's tears fell down. "taeyong cared for me more then i even cared for you. it was like you were the drug and he was the cure." you held taeyong hand.
"i forgive you but i won't forget what you did to me." you spat.
doyoung stood there speechless.
"should i bring back your words?" you thought,
"stay away from me. don't ever talk to me. again." you finished.
