WARNING: this chapter includes self-harm! if you do not like that sort of content i suggest you click away immediately.
(a/n: oh! and ik this is supposed to be an angst but ill just leave a happy ending for y/n ok 🤠)
ahh..the only boy of my dreams, na jaemin.
every since he took a step in my life, i felt a sprung of love.
he was athletic, beautiful, smart and generous. he was something a girl could ever ask for.
im glad that he and i were best friends ever since kindergarten.
"i hope you become my girlfriend in the future, y/n!"
i really hoped that would've happened as he kept it a promise and would never choose anyone else over me.
but he lied.
"hey y/n!" he jogged over happily.
"what is it?" i smiled, excited for some good news.
"im dating seoyun!! she's amazing!!"
oh.
"that's amazing!" i unpleasantly smiled.
"what's wrong are you sad? you know you could tell me righttt?" he worriedly asked.
"im fine." i groggily said.
"y/n?" he looked at me as i lower my head.
tears started swelling my eyes and i ran away not wanting jaemin to look at my current condition. honestly, i was hurt. it felt like being shot through the heart.
i rushed home and grabbed the sharpest knife i could find.
this is it.
i started slitting scars into my arms. so deep that it eventually bled a lot.
i stopped and grabbed some pills from the cupboard and swallowed half of them. i took so much that i apparently blacked out.
i woke up on the bathroom floor, my head was spinning. i tried to walk but i was limping. i took a shower and wore my school clothes. i looked at myself in the mirror and sighed. why do i have to be so fat?..i covered my scars and walked to school.
i walked in and sat on my seat and looked outside the window. "boo!"
"that didn't scare me jeno.." i said.
"aw..sorry! you looked like you were depressed so i wanted to cheer you up!" he patted my back.
sometimes when jaemin is gone..i have jeno but jeno isn't as good as jaemin..
(a/n: im sorry excuse me maam jeno is the most perfect human being-)
anyways.
there they are. jaemin and seoyun. making out. infront of me.
i tried not to cry but i literally ended up crying infront of jeno, looking pathetic.
"y/n look at me."
i didn't have the energy to.
jeno sighed and hugged me softly. honestly, i felt comfortable for once and stopped crying. "you done crying now? cmon cheer up y/n!" jeno eyesmiled. i smiled too.
but i felt a jealous aura surrounding me, it felt like jaemin was staring deep at us.
i started hanging around jeno instead, more than i do with jaemin. yet i still harm myself and consume pills that are harmful for my body because of jaemin.
i still cry everyday but jeno helps me.
im suprised he didn't get tired of me.
i walked around the school campus and bumped into jaemin. shit.
"o-oh..hi."
"y/n."
i felt scared.
"why are you avoiding me?.." he said as he pins me to the wall.
"I-i.."
"you what?.." he lifted up my chin. looking at me deep in the eyes.
"stop it.." i pushed him gently.
"so you're ditching me for jeno now? what a whore."
"shut up.."
"yknow what? i really thought that we could be together but..guess not." he spat.
i started sobbing.
"just s-shut up.."
"were not friends anymore. let's end this friend ship." he spat as he walked away. yet he actually regretted saying that.
i then sat down crying, covering my face that's full of tears.
but of course jeno was there.
"y/n?! are you ok? did someone hurt you?"
jaemin looked behind and his pupils softened.
i cried in his arms and jeno kissed my forehead. as he did he noticed jaemin and glared at him. "stay here, y/n."
third person pov.
jeno walked up to jaemin and grabbed his collar. "listen here, jaemin. i kid you not, if you play with her heart again..ill make sure that you will regret everything you did."
jaemin looked away, and pushed jeno's arms. "whatever." he said while walking away. it actually hurt his heart seeing that jeno was protecting her instead of him. jeno doing something for y/n that jaemin could never.
jaemin looked back once again to see jeno holding hands with y/n. something he wished to do for a long time. he wished for y/n to cry in his arms but it would never work now since he ruined his chance and let her go.
jaemin's tears swelled up in his eyes and walked away.
as for y/n, she stopped harming and ended up having a long-lasting relationship with jeno.
she suddenly felt happier than before, she felt emotions that jaemin could never give but jeno did.
as for jaemin, he broke up with seoyun in anger and now he's waiting for y/n. all alone.
