His Royal Randomness

My Life #6

I don't believe in romantic love anymore......

From this moment on, I refuse to believe true romantic love exists or can be possible, at least for me.

My heart was shattered into a million pieces yesterday by the one I thought was the Love of my Life that God had placed on my life for me.

I was wrong.......

I've liked this person since July of last year when I met her during my out-of-state vacation. From the moment I saw her, it was an instant attraction. We hung out a lot and she was very kind and even some people told me she treated me differently than she did with other guys.

That gave me hope.

We've been texting and calling pretty much every day since then. She even came to visit with her family in March.

I never felt closer to a girl before....

Until yesterday when she confessed to me as a friend that she had a crush on another guy.

I...I can't describe how I felt. Something inside me died. Cracked. Shattered.

It was like something ripped out my heart from my chest and ripped it to shreds and stomped all over it. I honestly thought she liked me....but as is the story of my life, I was left with nothing but a broken heart.

I then confessed my feelings to her and she surprised me but saying she's always known but she wants me as a friend only.

I cried.

I'm not kidding.

I, a twenty-year-old guy, cried at seeing those words. I cried myself to sleep last night and I'm crying now as I write this. To know the girl I loved so much will only always see me as a friend and that I'm not worthy enough of more....is the most horrible feeling I've ever experienced.

I'm never falling in love again in my life. It's too painful. I simply will never find happiness in romance. As for me, I no longer believe in it.

I will not read romantic stories anymore, nor will I listen to love songs unless they are sad and depressing, and I will not do romantic roleplays anymore.....

It's over.

All I want to know is.....

Where do I go from here? 💔💔💔