THE DO'S AND DON'TS OF TVD FANFICS

review 1

(the following entry was commented by @JuLy-is-Life  )

TITLE: The Vampire Diaries: The Mikaelson Family Mate {1}

[ DESCRIPTION: Viviana Labonair is the very distant cousin of Elena Gilbert, both of them being having descended from Nadia and Katerina. Viviana descended from Nadia's granddaughter Maia and Elena descended from Nadia's granddaughter Kaia. Viviana has 5 half siblings, 2 of which she has yet to meet. The three half siblings she knows are her older half brothers Chase and Spencer and her younger half sister Mariya.It all started out when Viviana was found to be mated to Elijah Mikaelson, then she met Rebekah Mikaelson and it ended in the same result. it was confirmed when she met Klaus Mikaelson and was also mated to him as well. That when everyone figured out it was most likely she was mated to the whole Original Family. (I know its not the best description but it was written quote a while ago)
CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM (yes or no): I'm down for constructive criticism. Burn or roast me for all I care. I want to know what people think of my stories and how I can improve them. ]

REVIEW ; 

First off, I think the concept of your story is super unique!  I love how you included Rebekah among the love interests, as she's often passed up in these type of books.  The Legacies addition  was also amazing!  I really like Jennifer Lawrence as your face claim by the way!

NOTES ; Now we get to the criticisms, lol.  These are absolutely just my personal preferences, and you in no way have to take my advice.  But, I'm not always a huge fan of having the detailed biography at the beginning of your story.  I usually think it's best to sprinkle in who your characters are throughout the story.

Plus, if you want to do that sort of profile, maybe create a "meet my ocs" book where you can put all that information in one place.

I also thought the introduction of so many characters so quickly was a bit jarring, and I honestly couldn't remember most of them.  Though I did definitely appreciate how detailed they all were, and how you took the time to make so many unique characters!  I, personally, would have had an easier read if you cut back a few of the characters.

I think your writing was nice, though I don't really love the whole POV changes all the time, and the layout of the story.  But, it can definitely work for you and others!  I just usually prefer to read in third person, and if there's flashbacks to do them a bit more subtly, like using italics or something rather than the bold text telling us what's happening.

I would also love to read more background information on Viviana.  I feel like you hopped into the story very quickly, without showing much of things like, where she lives, what her personality is, her family ect.

I think your story has great potential, and I really hope you benefit from the review!!  Thank you so much for commenting your story, I really enjoyed reading it!