The Boy Next Door

6) You're Forgiven

Bellamy's POV

Clarke and I share a long yet strangely comfortable embrace. After what felt like seconds, she pulls away and goes to sit down. I follow shortly after and soon enough, we are just sitting next to each other in silence.

I am lost in my own thoughts. I can't escape them. This is all my fault. She's not gonna make it. What's going to happen to her? Mom would be so disappointed in me. These thoughts consume me; surround me. I feel my breath quicken and I feel like I can't breathe.

I feel a hand tap me lightly and I look next to me to see Clarke looking at me worryingly. "Bellamy? Are you okay?" she asks. I take a deep breath and nod, as I'm not capable to get the words out. She looks at me and it's as if she can tell I was lying. Soon enough I start to panic, and I don't keep it inside. My breathing gets rapid and I feel like I'm going to fall apart. The next thing I know, I feel a warm hand grasp my own. I glance at Clarke and for some reason, I relax. "This is all my fault," I quietly say. "My mom raised me to be better, to be good. I'm a monster," I continue. "Bellamy, if you want forgiveness, I'll give that to you. And you may be a total ass half the time, but I need you. I need you to be okay for Octavia. She will be fine. You are not a monster, but you can't hide from this Bellamy. In order for you to get past it, you have to face it." I looked into her eyes and suddenly everything she said made sense. I had this feeling wash over me that everything would be okay.

Clarke's POV

I was so worried about Octavia I don't know how I stayed calm. But I looked over to my left and I saw that Bellamy wasn't. It seemed like he was having a panic attack. His breathing wasn't normal and I could practically hear his heart beating out of his chest. I wanted to help him, but I didn't know what I could do.

Then all of a sudden, I got the urge to help him. I unknowingly grabbed his hand and held it in mine. He stops for a second and looks at me and as soon as he does, I notice him relax a little bit. With his hand still in mine, he looks away again and quietly mutters, "This is all my fault." I hear his words and I was shocked. He blames himself? Why? My thoughts were interrupted when I hear him say, "My mom raised me to be better, to be good. I'm a monster." I didn't know what to say. So I just tried to comfort him and show him that it is not his fault.

"Bellamy, if you want forgiveness, I'll give that to you. And you may be a total ass half the time, but I need you. I need you to be okay for Octavia. She will be fine. You are not a monster, but you can't hide from this Bellamy. In order for you to get past it, you have to face it." I honestly had no clue these words were coming out of my mouth until after I said them. I guess that was what I was truly feeling about the situation. He looks at me again and I can see the change of emotion on his face. He went from guilty, scared, panicked, and then finally calm. His breathing was back to normal and I could feel that his pulse was back to normal as I was still holding his hand. He didn't let go, and I honestly didn't mind.

One Hour Later...

There was still no news about Octavia. There was no doctor that came out and told us she was fine, we just waited there. Bellamy's hand was still intertwined with mine, but I had noticed he had fallen into an uneasy sleep. I knew I had to stay strong for Bellamy. O was his sister after all. But she was my best friend, and now that Bellamy was asleep, I let myself fall apart.

I started crying and thinking about how much I need O. She was the best friend in the entire world. She forced her brother who doesn't even like me to drive me to and from school every day. She was fun, crazy, and the kindest, and most caring person to know. I don't know what I would do without her. She was the first real friend I've had in a while and she was also the first nice person I met at school.

I felt the sobs racking my body and I was full on crying now. Tears were streaming down my face and my vision was blurry. I hadn't even noticed Bellamy had woken up and he was looking straight at me with a look of concern on his face.

Author's note; Hey guys! Sorry for the short chapter; writer's block sucks. I will try to update asap. Until next time! Have a great day/night lovelies <3