Wanted

•Good To Me•

{•Unedited•}
~Bex's POV~

"Why the hell are you covered in dirt and twigs?" I ask, picking one off Alaric's shoulder. He shrugs, looking away from me. I cross my arms, leaning against Marissa's desk. He stays quiet, sucking in his cheeks and letting them out repeatedly. "You can either tell me why or I can beat it out of you. I found my roller." His eyes shoot to mine.
"Fine," he says. "I may or may not have followed you to your date and kept an eye on you," he says with a nervous smile. I want to be mad or weirded out, but I'm thankful that he did that. "He just got out prison. I wasn't taking my changes."
"Thank you. But that doesn't explain the twigs," I joke. He smiles, picking some off himself. "You don't always have to protect me. I can handle myself."
    "I fell into a bush," he says, making me laugh. "And I know, but I want to make sure you're okay for myself. I'll stop one day, maybe, but for now I'm your overprotective cousin brother." I laugh at what he calls himself. I often forget he isn't my actual brother because of how close we are.
     "I'm not even sure how I felt about that," I tell him, sitting down on my bed. He sits down across from me on Marissa's bed. She's off at the gym to "relieve stress". "I didn't feel anything with him. Even in the worst relationship I was in I felt something in the beginning. There's lust, that's it."
     I should probably talk to someone else about this. Connie would more than enjoy this discussion since I literally never have boy troubles. The last time I even took an interest in a guy was a year ago and it ended in a mess. Alaric and I have always been very honest with each other and talked about everything. This just comes easy to talk to him about.
    "Did you expect to feel something different?" He asks. I nod disappointedly. "Did you want to feel how you do with Atticus?" My eyes widen at his assumption. I know he's right, but I don't want to admit that. Was that really what I'm looking for? Hate, annoyance, intimidation?
     "I can't stand Atticus," I lie.
     "You're fucking stupid if you actually do that. There's no way I actually know you better than you like yourself," he says. I sigh, laying down on my side. "The way you look at him says it all, the same with him. You two have some weird pull towards each other and Marissa and I are just waiting for you to fully give in. And I don't just mean sucking his dick."
     I could admit that I want Atticus as more than he even thinks. I'm fearful of what could happen if anything does seriously happen. My dad and mines relationship would surely get worse if I dated a cop. He flipped enough when he found out I went on a date with one. Would how much we test each other cause problems? Would he start drinking again? Would he be able to handle my family? Could he separate him being a cop from who he is with me?
    "Shut up and go take a shower before you get her bed dirty," I tell him, wanting to drop this section. 
    "I don't get paid enough for these therapy sessions. Oh wait, I don't get paid at all; you don't pay me. You use me."
     "Get the hell out."
    ••••••
          
     "I'll be back. I'm gonna take a walk around before the doors close," I tell her. She nods, not taking her eyes off the computer. I make sure this time to bring my keys. It's colder in the hall than it is in the dorm. Looking down the hall, I immediately see Atticus making his way down the hall. I keep walking until I meet him, both of us stopping.
    "What are you doing?" He asks, looking down the hall. It feels good to see him after thinking about him most of the day. I swear, he's starting to possess my thoughts.
    "Going for a walk before they lock the doors," I tell him. He nods, turning around for a minute. "I could use some company." The ends of his lips fight to turn upwards, but he manages to keep it at bay.
    "Yeah," he says, turning around to walk with me. I thought after finding out what I did that I would think differently of him; that would see him differently. But I can't see anything other than what I have. What he did to his ex doesn't bug me at all, and I don't know if that's a good thing. I could be pushing a big problem under the carpet and it could later bite me in the ass, but it's a risk I'm willing to take.
     "How was work today?" I ask, not wanting to leave time for silence. He shrugs, tucking his hands in his pockets. He steps in front of me, pushing open the door. I'm not used to him not wearing his uniform, it's a good look for him.
     "How was your date with Zav?" He asks. There's a hit of sarcasm in his voice, but I let it slide to avoid an argument.
    "Good," I answer. He nods, waiting for me to catch up with him. "I really like him. He seems like a good person." I swear I'm one of the only people who can say that about someone whose murdered people.
    "What did you two do?"
    "We just went for a walk at the park," I tell him. "We talked about some interesting things." I feel it's only right to let him know that I'm aware of his past relationship. If someone knew something so personal, I would want to know.   
   "Example?"
   "Liv," I say, looking down at the ground, purposefully not stepping on the lines in the sidewalk.
    "He told you?" He asks, a few steps back from me. I turn around, shocked to see how much he's paled in such short amount of time. The way the moon and very view lights are reflecting on him makes it hard for me to remember what we're talking about.
    His green eyes always seem brighter when in the dark; like he's glowing. This is one of the very few times that I've seen him out of uniform and both work and his casual attire fit him well. The black long sleeve is something I'd expect people to work out in, his biceps pressing tightly to the material along with his chest and shoulders. My mind takes me back to the night when I had the perfect opportunity to touch him wherever I wanted and mixed out.
    "Y-Yeah," I stutter. "I don't see you any different, Atticus. What happened was two years ago." Some color floods back to his face at my assuring words. "I still think you're a good person."
    "I think your definition of a good person is different from mine," he mumbles, finally walking closer. Something about him standing next to me, towering over me the way he does, makes me feel safe; protected.
   "It doesn't matter what my definition of good is, just that I think you are." His eyes often, shoulders relaxing. I feel bad for bringing it up now. He seemed to be in a good mood until I started talking about it. It seems I'm always changing his mood in some way.
   "You have no right to know about that," he says. He better not be pinning all of this on me. If it hadn't been for Zavian I wouldn't even know. "It's nothing for you to know." I stop walking again, my body body tense and loose all at once. My head is starting to hurt from everything that's happened the last few hours. I went on a date with someone fresh out of jail, talked about my feelings, and am now having this troubling conversation.
    This time it want my intention to get on his nerves or make him mad. I just wanted to let him know I knew. I didn't think he was going to react this way; then again, I didn't expect anything.
    "Actually it is. We can't keep dancing around what's going on with us. There's something between us and we have to do something about it before one of us looses our mind," I say, trying to be responsible. When it comes to relationships, I've always seen myself as someone who thinks things through clearly and won't leave anything unresolved. Even in friendships, I think communication is one of the most important things to make sure it succeeds.
     "There's nothing between us. We had sex and are forced to be civil with each other because you're my sisters roommate," he says. A pang of hurt hits through my chest from his words. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."
    "I wasn't even talking about it; I brought it up and dropped it because you deserved to know that I know. I didn't mean to hurt your little feelings," I say, walking pass him with my arms crossed. I act like that does anything to show I'm mad when it only daws attention to my chest.
    "I'm an ass because you irritate the hell out of me," he says. I shake my head in disbelief. I've done nothing to him. I've been a bitch to only give him the same energy he gives me. "Everything was fine before you stepped into the picture. My life was consistent with work and taking care of Marissa, then you come and ruin it. You make me want to change things. You make me consider letting someone in, and I fucking hate it. It's better for me to keep at a distance."
     "You know, that seems to be a reoccurring thing in my life. People keeping me at a distance." I have to rapidly blink my eyes to keep my tears from spilling. I hate that the moment someone's voice raises in the slightest at me I start getting tears eyed. Sensitive bitch. "Excuse me for thinking someone would finally be consistent."
     His eyes search mine, his facial expression unreadable due to it changing every few seconds. He keeps transitioning between soft and pissed. "You should get back to the dorms. The doors are about to lock." Despite knowing he's just trying to get this conversation over with, I listen.
    "I just want to let you know that he asked me out again for dinner and I said yes," I say once we're back inside. "I understand if you're not comfortable with that anymore." He chews on the inside of his cheek, looking around rapidly. I've noticed that looking around is a nervous habit of his. If I didn't know anything about him, I'd think he was strung out when he does it.
     "May-maybe we should actually talk about everything," he says. "Like about that night. It's like you said, we can't keep pushing it out of the way. Once it's over with, we can just go back to being people who just know each other." People who just know each other. I'm gonna just act like that doesn't sting.
     "I didn't think what happened between us meant anything," I say, silently praying that he'll say the other nights meant something; both the foreplay and the date. I want him to tell me he doesn't want me to know, not that he doesn't care. He probably really doesn't though. After the other night I'm surprised he's even talking to me.
    "N-no, I don't care if you go out with him. I just want to make sure that you know to be careful. Remember everything I told you about him," he tells me. I nod, looking up at him, hoping he'll grab me like he did the other night. How did this all happen so fast?
    "I'll be careful."

     AN: Shits gonna start to go DOWN! I'm even getting irritated that nothings fully happened between them yet and I control everything 😂 I really hope you guys enjoyed!
     Question: Are you team Zavian or Atticus? What would you like to see happen?