Wanted

•New Beginning•

    {•Unedited•}
                       ~Atticus's POV~

        I knock gently on the door of the room Bex is in. There is less than flirty minutes until she's supposed to walk down the isle and get married to my brother. Genuinely, I feel sick to my stomach. There's a churning feeling inside me that's making me want to talk to Bex one more time, but I don't want to put here through anymore. She wouldn't of came this far if she wasn't serious about marrying him.
     It swings open, revealing her in her dress. She steps to the side, looking up at me nervously as I walk in. She closes the door behind me, hand slipping off the knob.
    The dress is stunning and fits her perfectly. It hugs her every God sculpted curve of her body, but still manages to keep things modest. Her makeup isn't so dramatic that it takes away from what is natural. I'm guessing she's wearing heels that I can't see from the length of her dress because she's now above my shoulder in height.
     "You ready for this?" I ask, forcing a smile. I'm expecting her to do the same, but her aa expression remains...off. Someone shouldn't look this way on their wedding day that's for sure. Nothing wrong could have happened between Zav and her because he would be acting the same and he's as happy as can be.
     "Can we talk?" She asks, sounding sick. I nod, reaching over to twist the lock in place. She leads the way to the crunches, the train following shortly after her. Her eyes scam over me as I sit down in front of her, leaning in on my elbows. My hands clasp together, starting to get clammy from nerves.
    "What's going on?"
    "I don't know if I can do this," she says, taking a deep breath. Her arm rests on the arm of the chair, looking pass me and out the window. "I need to talk to you first."
   "Me?" My heart skips a beat. She nods, swallowing. Her jaw is set, which makes me worry that this is something bad.
    "Did you mean everything you said that night you kissed me?" She asks, completely shocking me. I thought that night was erased from her mind. She never brought it up again, and I'm sure she never told Zav because my life hasn't been threatened.
"I-Where is this coming from?"
"Confusion," she answers. "That night has been on reply in my head and every time I'm around I feel weird. It's not even the bad kind of weird; I would rather that. I don't want to make the same mistake as you as realize something big after I marry Zav."
Shes smart for not making the same mistake. There was a part of me on my wedding day that knew I still had something for Bex but I ignored it.
"I still love Atticus, way more than I should, and I hate myself for feeling this way. I know I also love Zav, but I'm scared it-it's not like it was," she continues.
She doesn't look directly at me as she talks, playing with her fingers. "If..." I think through what I'm about to say and how it can affect the people around us. "If you decide that this isn't what you want and you're willing to give this a shot, and I promise and swear on my to you that I will never hurt you the way I did ever again, I'll talk to Liv about getting a divorce."
Tears well up in her eyes as the tips of her ears get red. "That's a big thing to do, Atticus. I would never ask you to do something like that."
"You aren't making me do anything. I've been thinking about this for months," I tell her. Not even the majority of Liv and mines marriage have I been happy. I'm not sure what it is that makes me want a divorce, because it's not only my feelings for Bex. Maybe it's the fact that she's controlling, doesn't freaking shut up, and annoys me in a way that's not cute. It's a bunch of little things balled up into one big thing.
There's no way she's happy with me either, but being as religious as she is, refuses to mention divorce. That's another thing, I've never been the most religious, never tied myself down to a certain belief, and I've been okay with that; but if there is one thing she would change about me in a heart beat it would be that. The number of times she's forced me to go to church services with her...I can't remember.
There's also her problem with my job. Every day she's coming up with different professions that would "match my personality" and is "safe." The last time I got hurt on the job was years ago and nothing too bad has happened sense. I've told her repeatedly that I'm happy with my job and I love doing it, but that doesn't stop her from arguing with me to do something else.
"It's just whatever you choose to do."
••••••
~Bex's POV~

I knock loudly on the door to where Zav has been getting ready. There isn't long at all anyone until I'm supposed to walk down the isle. My heart is hammering in my chest, causing a bit of pain. My knees have been shaking for the past five minutes as well as my hands. I'm pretty sure my makeup looks disgusting from all my nervous sweating.
The door swings open before my fit can meet the wood again. Zav looks at me in shock, the white button down that's supposed to go under his jacket is open a few buttons, his hair nicely done. Looking at him now, I can see that Vina looks far more like him than she does me.
"I'm not supposed to see you before the wedding. It's bad luck," he says with a grin. The bad luck happened six months ago. Oh gosh, Marissa, my mom, Don, and Connie are all gonna kill me when they find out what I'm doing. They practically poured their blood, sweat, and tears into this wedding for whatever reason; I think it just gave them something to do.
"There's something important I have to say first," I say, pushing pass him. He takes a step back so the train of my dress doesn't get ruined by his shoes. The door makes a soft click noise once it closes.
"You're worrying me," he says. His eyes take me in, trailing down my body as if I'm...I don't even know what. "You look stunning, by the way. You're fucking beautiful, Bex."
"Stop making this hard," I groan to myself, closing my eyes. His expression changes once I say that, going from admiring to "what the fuck." "I-I-I can't marry you," I blurt out. My words slur together.
"What?" Is the only word that comes out of his mouth. It feels like the wind has been knocked out of me, but it must feel worse for him. He's done nothing but treat me like a queen and wants what's best for us, yet I'm doing this to him. I'm still not sure if this is the stupidest decision of my life. It probably is.
"I've been thinking a lot lately and nothing really made me realize that I have to stop this until today," I start explaining. "I love you, so freaking much it's ridiculous, but...it's not the same as it was. I can't have one part of my heart with one person, while the other half is with another."
"W-What do you mean another?" He asks, his jaw clenching. "Does this have something to do with my brother?" His voice is deeper than usual. He keeps his eyes narrowed at me.
"Y-yeah," I tell him, not wanting to lie. If I lie, it'll start more problems and I don't want problems with him. "I've tried fighting off how I feel for as long as I can, but-"
"You love him more," he says. When he puts it like that it sounds terrible. There's no way I could love Atticus more, I know that for a fact. My love for Zav is much stronger but that's for different reasons. He gave me a child who I love and cherish more than anything in this entire world. He's taught me what happiness truly feels like and that I can have it. He's shown that life isn't just a series of unfortunate events. He's made me a happier, better person.
"No, it's just a different kind," I correct him. He nods, looking down at the wooden tile. "Please say something or even yell at me. I deserve it." His gorgeous hazel eyes close, his shoulders slumping before he straights himself up.
"I want to be mad, and I'm sure eventually I'll be pissed at you for this, but I'm just confused," he says. "W-we've been happy, Bex; or at least I thought we were."
"I have been happy, but...I don't even understand most of this myself," I tell him. He sighs, looking up at the ceiling. It's painted a shade shake of teal with a gold chandelier in the center, jews look to be raining from it.
"I would never hurt you by being mad at you about this, but I want you keep my letter and one day realize what could have been." It doesn't surprise me that he doesn't give a big long speech out of anger or yell. He's never been like that, even when he should be (like now).
He places the envelope in my hands. "I'm so sorry," I cry, no longer able to control my tears. He steps closer, kissing my forehead with force. His calloused hands cut my face while my top lip presses against his stubbled chin. Is the last time we'll ever be like this?
"I'll be okay."
••••••
One year later:

"Looking at all the things we've done and double checking our results, she's still as healthy as she was last year," Dr.Collins tells me. She sits down on the small chair on wheels, her notes resting on her lap. The navy blue dress she wears is casual but grabs your attention; it compliments her well. "Is there anyone in your family who has a history with autism?"
"N-no," I stutter, my nerves spiking. "At least not that I know of; no in recent years at least." She nods, writing something down on her note pad. Vina sits quietly on the examination table, her little legs hanging high off the bed. For being five, she's a lot smaller than she should be but the smaller the better.
The older she gets, the more she resembles Zavian. She has his eye shape, but with my color, my hair with his shade, he facial structure screams that she's his kid but the details are me.
He hasn't been around much. She misses him, I know because when he does come around she smiles more than often. For the last two years, it's been work and nothing else for him. The last time I seen him was two months ago and he had gone cold. The way he spoke was more harsh, he looked extremely on edge, his eyes head looked weird. There were cut scabs in his arms and hands, his palms were more blistered than ever before. He was a complete mess.
"Looking at everything you've told and that every test we've done has come back with great results, I'm thinking there's about a ninth five perfect chance of her having a minor case of Autism. I'm only saying minor because of her age, we don't know if it'll get progressively worse, and she's very responsive and seems to understand everything around her."
"Is there anything we can do?" She shakes her head, a sympathetic look on her face.
"The best thing you can do for her is try to understand and do your research. Our office has plenty of resources you can look into as well," she tells me. I sigh, looking blankly at her.
"Thank you."
••••••

Getting home, it feels like a weight has been taken off of me. I close the door behind Vina and I, looking over to the backyard where Atticus is fixing the weeds like I asked this morning.
We've been married for three months. Yeah I know, I finally went through with a marriage; shocking. Not long after we moved into a house not far from an elementary school. The neighborhood is nice and quiet, but kids do play around in their front yards. Everything is a nice size and very specious.
Atticus spends most of his time either in in the backyard or garage when he's home. Vina stays in her room and does her puzzles; she solves those things faster than even I could and they're for a child. I'm usually finding something to do or studying. Last year I started attending medicinal school online, tired of only working in an doctors office doing files and giving shots.
"Go play in your room for a little bit," I tell her. She nods her head slowly, turning down the hall. Atticus walks in, sweat glistening on his body, but not in an gross way, or at least I find it attractive. I sit at the kitchen table, putting my head in my hands.
"What's going on?" He asks, pulling out a seat next to me. I've kept myself from crying the whole ride and doctors appointment, talking to him about it won't be my breaking...who the hell am I kidding? "Did you...figure anything out?"
"Y-Yeah," I stutter. He looks at me, cocking a brow as a gesture for me to continue. "The doctor said she thinks Vina has minor Autism." He doesn't say anything, just gives me a moment to take in what I just said. His fingers tap on the table, a new nervous habit he's developed. "I-is it my fault?" I ask, my voice cracking.
"No, of course not. It's how she is," he says, placing his hand on my shoulder and giving it a tight squeeze. It feels good since I've been tense all day.
"I-I took all those pills when I was pregnant with her, what if that had some affect?" The words that leave my mouth hardly make sense because they're shaky, but thankfully he grasps what I'm trying to get out.
"This isn't your fault, at all. Go lay down for a little bit, I'll do something for dinner," he tells me. Unlike I would usually do, I don't argue. I need rest after everything the last few days with work and now this. He catches my hand before I can get away. "There's also a surprise after dinner."
     "Surprise?" I ask.
     "Yeah. I'll wake you up when the food's done."
    •••••
       
      I'm half asleep with my head on Atticus's lap when someone starts licking in the door like the damn cops. The sound sticks makes my heart race. His hands stroking action on my hair stops as he gets up. I sit up, bringing my knees to my chest.
    After dinner, Vina took a shower and put herself in bed. It's a routine she has that confuses the hell out of me. Aren't kids supposed to want to stay up late and beg not to go to bed? Every night, after dinner she has me help her shower and then goes to bed; every night, like clock work.
     "WHERE'S MY MAIN BITCH!" A familiar voice says. I shoot yo off the couch, tears automatically stringing into my eyes. Alaric steps in, a large smile on his face. I jump up and run over, shocked that my legs are even working.
       His arms wrap around me, my face buried in his neck. He smells exactly how he did when I was last standing this close to him. I pull back, wiping my tears. Thankfully I took all my makeup off after helping Vina shower.
    "What the hell are you doing here?" I ask, smiling widely. I haven't smiling like this is in God knows how long.
    "Visiting you what the hell does it look like?" He says. "You've aged."
    "Go back," I tease. He laughs, pulling me back into a hug. I look over his shoulder at Atticus. His arms cross over his broad chest, smiling over at us. He wasn't kidding when he said he would fix his mistake. Oh he's getting some tonight.
    "So did you ever have the little human or whatever happened with that?" The last few years he cut himself off from communicating with everyone. I let it be because I thought it was better for his depression.
    "She's asleep right now," I tell him, stepping back.
    "So you didn't throw it away?"
   "That's against the law," Atticus says with a laugh. Alaric flips him off from over his shoulder.
   "Fuck the law," he says, then quickly turns around to face him with wide eyes. "I'm kidding. I completely admire and respect the law and promise to abide to them." I cover my mouth with my hand to keep from laughing at him. "What? The asshole locked me up once. Wanna come at me again? Oh that's right...YOU CAN'T!"
    "You want to test that theory?"
    "N-no, sir. So now for my main question, why the fuuuccckkkkk are you still with Douchecanoe?"

   AN: He's baaaccckkkk!! Ugh, I've missed Alaric, he was gone for too long. Also, I think there are about 3 more chapter left. I really hope you guys enjoyed!
    Question: What do you think about her choice? Do you think she should have stayed with Zav?