The Girlfriend Experience

Chapter 10: Lost Dog

Rhiannon

____________________________________________________

"How about we go to his house and egg his car," Clara says from the backseat.

"No that's too Isaac and Augustus," Kylie says coming to a stop light.

"Who?" Clara asks, clearly confused.

Kylie rolls her eyes and sighs. When the light turns green she hits the accelerator merging into the lane that leads to her house. I'm regretting not asking them to take me home after school. Apparently they didn't want me to be by myself which I can understand because I know and they know that once I get home, I'd just lock myself in my room to wallow but....they came up with this plan, this grand scheme that's not well thought out yet. They want to get sweet revenge by getting back at Brandon for his recent behavior.

I'm sure this plan, whatever it's going to be when they figure it out, would be any ex-girlfriends dream but it's not mine. For the first time since my world went dark, I want to try something different, I want to try and move on. I know this goes against what I said before about still wanting Brandon but after seeing that picture today I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that it's really over between us.

I love him. He hates me.

I want him. He wants someone else.

I'm miserable and he's blissfully happy.

There's nothing else left, nothing to hold onto. If our love was strong enough he wouldn't have ended things. So why do I want to continue on with this? I don't want to become bitter and hateful and I sure as hell don't want to give up on love. I'm only seventeen.

If he can find someone else, well, so can I. Nothing is stopping me, there are no fences or barbed wires blocking my way, and I'm absolutely free to do what I want. There's a pool of hot guys at school just waiting to get a chance with me and I can pick any one of them. He doesn't necessarily have to be super-hot. He can be sweet, and gentle, and caring, like Ethan Wallace.

Ethan, Ethan, Ethan. Even his name has a sweetness to it, two sweet syllables for the sweetest boy. I still can't believe he went looking for me today after I stormed off from the cafeteria . He wanted to check on me, he says. His exact words were, '"I wanted to see if you were okay.'"

He seemed nervous about approaching me and kept a distant until I invited him to join me in the rusty car. He made me comfortable so I spilled my guts out to him crying the entire time. I don't allow many people to see me cry. Ethan is different.

We had a lot of classes together freshmen year but then the school board discovered that he was a genius and enrolled him in AP and IB classes so I saw less of him. We only have one class together this semester, Biology. Although, we hardly ever talk, we always had that mutual understanding with each other. We got along, despite the clique difference.

Lately, I've been seeing a lot of him. I ran into him at my grandma's retirement home. It was a shock to my system because I thought he was stalking me. He told me he was visiting his grandpa and I thought that was the most endearing thing ever. You wouldn't find most kids visiting their grandparents in a retirement home, but like I said before, Ethan is different. It's like caring is his superpower or something, like, he's made it his mission to save one wounded soul at a time.

After we talked today I asked him to walk me to class. It was nice walking beside him. He had an imperturbable calmness to him and it was rubbing off on me because the amount of stares we earned as we walked to my English class made me feel nothing, I was carefree. I'm now thinking that he should be around when I finally talk to Brandon for Brandon's protection because I'm a million percent sure the next time I lay eyes on him I will slaughter him.