The Girlfriend Experience

Chapter 2: Mr. Nobody

Ethan

____________________________________________________________

I hate alcohol.

I don't care if it's beer, a nice glass of wine, a shot of vodka or any type of shot for that matter, I hate it all. The taste plays a big part of the hatred but the real fact of it is that I'm a lightweight and a lousy drunk.

Two to three drinks in me, I'm drunk, and when I'm drunk I get sad. I guess that's another thing I forgot to mention. I'm also a sad drunk. Every time alcohol hits my system I turn into this little crying sissy. I can't help it. The alcohol brings out my emotions in the worst possible way.

When I go to parties with my two friends, Aaron and Matt they always steer me away from drinking because they know what the outcome will be and no guy wants to be hanging around an over emotional sissy, not even if it's their best friend.

I've tried but failed miserably to convince them not to drag me along with them every time they go out but they persist. They always persist. Like tonight, there's a huge party taking place at Patrick Sutter's house and I've told them countless times that I'm not interested in going but they're not having it.

I know if I go to Patrick's party, I'm going end up drinking and that's going to lead me to some dark corner to wallow about how miserable my life is. Especially given recent circumstances of being shut down by yet another girl I asked out. I know without a doubt I'll cry my eyes out and I'll probably shout her name and embarrass myself further more.

I can't go to the party. No way.

"Gentleman," Aaron announces, checking himself out in Matt's mirror. "Tonight we drink like man."

I toss my stress ball in the air and catch it.

Matt is going back and forth between his room and bathroom, getting dressed and doing his hair simultaneously. Even though I've watched him do that for several years it's still a mystery to me.

"Why so serious, Ethan?" Aaron asks.

"Nothing." I shrug.

That's a lie. Everything is a problem. School, girls, my home life, my persistent friends who never listen to what I have to say, girls, girls and did I mention girls.

"It's about that Nicole girl isn't it?" He asks.

My response is complete silence and that prompts him to walk over and seat next to me on Matt's bed.

"Don't let this girl get to you man, its one girl." He rubs my shoulder gently. I hate the gentle shoulder rub. He's showing me that he cares but he's also thinking, "poor guy."

"It's every girl." I mutter.

"It's not....every girl." He says. He can't even convince himself of the lie.

All my life__ever since I could remember, girls have always been a big issue for me. In junior high I couldn't muster up the courage to talk to them. In high school when I got a little braver to approach them, they turn me down. I'm not talking about an easy turn down with a friendly smile, no, no, I'm talking, stink eyes, disappointing smiles, scoffs or even uproarious laughter, offended hands on their chests to display how hurt they are that a guy like me would ever approach them and a flip of their hair and they walk away usually without a word. This has done nothing but crush my self esteem and confidence.

I always find a way to put it behind me and move on to the next girl but I always get the same response. For instance today, I asked this really hot cheerleader, Nicole Browning to go out with me. I got an A on my Statistics test, ran two whole miles in gym and so I thought my winning streak would continue so I asked her out. Her reaction was a mix of shock and confusion....then it was followed by a series of giggles. She ran and told her friends and the entire cheerleading table was laughing their little airheads off at me.