The Girlfriend Experience

Chapter 4: Classroom disruptions

Ethan

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If shit could take a shit it would look just like I do right now.

My eyes are sunken with dark circles around them, even my glasses can't hide how listless they look. My hair is still semi wet from my hot shower this morning; it didn't have time to dry because I was running late for school. My face is red and blotchy and my clothes look frumpy and raggedy.

To sum it up, I look like a zombie, a lifeless, ugly little zombie.

I feel worst on the inside than I do on the outside. How is that even remotely possible you ask? Well, with all the drinking I did over the weekend and all the wallowing I did after throwing up multiple times my insides feel pretty much non-existent. I'm filled with air, gaseous and bloated air. And there's another factor, my head. It feels like it got pounded on by a professional boxer. It's aching to the point where I don't even want to call it a headache; it should be called something else when it's at a drastic point like that.

I'm waddling down the crowded halls attracting dirty stares from my peers. I'm sure many of them are wondering the same thing: "what is wrong with him?" Any given day I would be tearing up inside over what they think of me and try to hide myself from them but today, today I can care less. I'm too damn tired too care so I waddle all the way to Biology.

No one is in class when I enter the room, not even Mr. McNabb. That's a true sign that you're a loser, when you get to class before the teacher. I sometimes hang out with Aaron and Matt before class but when they didn't call to say they'd pick me up this morning I assumed they decided to stay home. They skip school often. I can't afford to do that because; my parents aren't lenient with me. They expect me to attend school every day, sick or not sick. They want me to have a clean high school record as well as sky high grades.

My parents aren't always harsh though, they do allow me to have a social life. The issue is, they want a perfect son and I can't be that. They have this nice boy profile that they want to fit me in, this outrageous little box that they've carved up to hole me up in. I can't be boxed up; I won't be able to breathe in a box.

I'm on the road to becoming an adult, I don't know what I want to be......or even if I want to be. I know my parents mean well but I just wish sometimes they would back off and let me figure things out for myself. One day I will muster up the courage to stand up to them but not today, today I have to pretend to care about my education while trying to survive the cruel politics of high school.

I pull my notebook out of my bag, place it on the desk and lower my throbbing head down on it. Maybe a quick ten minute nap before class start will do the trick. I close my eyes and just I begin to drift off someone wakes me up.

"Hey man, what's up?" It's Patrick Sutter. I threw up at his house Friday night. The night still remains a blur to me but according to Matt and Aaron after I threw up all over the floor they had to hurry and take me home because I was pretty much making a fool out of myself. The only thing I remember is walking into the threesome Patrick was participating in with two mysterious girls.

I don't know why he's standing over my desk, all dressed up like he's going to the biggest interview of his life but I'm scared. Maybe he's here to reprimand me about the events of Friday night or maybe he's just here to kill me. I hope its option two; I need someone to take me out of my misery.

"So, um," Patrick begins. Both of his hands are resting on the desk, I feel like at any minute he's going to reach for my neck and choke me. "Ethan, is it?"

I nod hesitantly.

"Friday night, at my house, you__"

"I know, I know, I'm sorry about that." I cut him off to apologize. "I would never throw up at someone's house intentionally. I was so drunk and__"