Sheets | ✓

FORTY-THREE

With a hundred pairs of eyes on me, the cafeteria grew smaller and smaller as time dragged out. Voices slurred and faces blurred as I took a shaky step forward. Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot. My feet felt like lead, stumbling across the floor as I felt the blood from my face stagnate, pooling at my weighted feet. 

My shoulder bumped against the crowd of people who seemed so much taller than I was, their eyes piercing and their smiles mocking. Elbows stabbed into my sides and words scratched at my ears, all the while my body feeling like it was trying to wade through thick tar that started to dribble down my throat, suffocating me. 

I could feel the panic start to pulse, my breathing laboured as I struggled to suck air up into my closed throat, ears ringing. 

They know. They all know.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. They weren't supposed to find out like this. 

It was supposed to be on my own terms, on mine and Nico's terms, but someone had taken it upon themselves to reveal what was rightfully ours to reveal. I wasn't ready for people to know, but I was getting there. I was going to be ready to come out to the world, but that day wasn't today. I knew that, and Nico knew that, and I'm sure that the person who unleashed my secrets into the universe knew that too. They just didn't care what damage it would do.

As I neared the exit of the cafeteria, a rigid weight snagged itself around my ankle, pulling my body into the air before crashing onto the ground. The cacophony of noise quietened to an intrigued buzz as I groaned, knees and wrists aching from where they caught the brunt of the fall. 

Tears stinging my eyes, a pair of black leather shoes with the buckles undone stepped in front of me, kicking at my chest like I was a bug.

"Oh, oops," a sickeningly shrill voice drawled, voice dripping with malice. "I almost stepped on trash."

Swallowing my pain, I grit my teeth and peered up, Alyssa's heavily contoured face staring down at me. Though her painted lips were spread in a bright pink grin, her eyes were cold. Holding her phone in a lacquered hand, she made a show of looking at it, a friend of hers snickering as she peered over Alyssa's shoulder. Flicking her hair over her shoulder before giving me another pointed look, she smacked her lips, gum squelching between her molars. Slowly, Alyssa bent down, grabbing my box-brown hair in her hands and jerking my head up, pulling harshly this way and that as she peered at my face. 

Letting out a disgusted "tsk," the girl quickly dropped my hair, my scalp burning, before turning her phone screen towards me. Eyes wide and trembling, I looked at the picture blinking on her screen. 

'Nicolletta's' was spread across the screen in vibrant writing, but was partially cut off as the picture was zoomed in on a pair of figures sitting in a booth, eyes closed and lips locked tight. One with jet black hair, tattoos creeping up his arms, and another with his face partially hidden but visible enough to identify. Curly brown hair, a smattering of freckles across his nose and a light pink dusting his cheeks, the grainy image wasn't blurred enough to lie.

Me and Nico. There was no doubt about it.

My mouth opened, but only choked sounds came out. 

"You know, I always thought there was something off about you," Alyssa said, eyes narrowing. "But who knew you'd turn out to be a fucking fag."

Fucking fag.

"I-" I started, mouth moving pathetically as the words buried themselves into my chest, searing and painful. 

"And for Nico to go for someone like you," Alyssa said, her words oozing with bitterness, "well, your ass must've been a really good fuck. What did you do, huh? You don't look like it, but you must've done some freaky shit for him to even look at you."