He Who Hold My Heart

Not A Honeymoon Year

Year 1999.

I'm still in this all girls boarding school.

I was offered to Art Stream based on my last year national exam result. I'm quite frustrated that I was not offered to Science Stream.

Sam will be my partner in class for this year and next year. Erin was in another class but we still played double together for our school badminton team.

It seem that I only have two partners in class through out my secondary school. Erin was my partner in Form 1 and Form 2. And Sam is my partner since Form 3 till Form 5.

I'm 16 years old and being in all girls boarding school, I have limited contact with boys. Danny, my dormmate keep asking me whether I got a boyfriend or not in which I said no. But I told her there is a boy during my primary school and he is still keep coming to my house during festive season eventhough I'm no longer his schoolmate. My parents likes him. He's polite and show respect to the elders.

"Then why you didn't date him?" Danny asked.

"I'm in this boarding school and he got a girlfriend. But last year he broke up with his girlfriend."

"So now you can date him", Danny said.

"No, I can't."

"But why?" Danny asked.

"Because he know I hate him".

I told Danny what happened during our school sport day when we were in Standard 6 four years ago. I regret what I've said. Danny think I should apologize to him. But I don't know how. I feel a lump in my throat everytime I want to say sorry to him. Or I still have my ego to apologize to him.

Since I'm in this boarding school for the last four years, he never fail to come to my house every year during festive season. But to me, he came because he want to visit my parents. Little did I know, this will be the last year he will visit my parents during festive season.

According to Amy, he's not dating any girls right now. I wonder why.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * 

Danny keep buggering me to apologize to him. So, one day I called Amy via a payphone in our school. Before I could ask Amy his home phone number, Amy told me he is sick. Very sick. He collapsed at their school.

"What happened?"

"He got brain tumor, Elly", Amy informed.

I'm speechless. This can't be true.

"He's not gonna to finish his school", Amy said.

"What do you mean Amy? You say he will not seat for our national exam next year before we go to university?"

"He will not, Elly. He's very sick. He's in coma", Amy said.

I'm devastated. Please God save him. I need to say I'm sorry to him.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * 

I went back to my dorm crying.

"Hey Elly..what's up? What's going on?" Danny asked.

"He's in coma".

"Who's in coma? What are you talking about?" Danny asked again.

"Adam..he collapsed in his school. He got brain tumor, Danny".

"Oh my God..I'm so sorry Elly", Danny said.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * 

Since that day, I never fail to pray for his health in my prayer.

When I came back to my hometown during school holidays, my parents told me about him.

But I have no courage to visit him. To be honest, I'm devastated. I'm scared to face him. I want to say I'm sorry to him but I can't. Dear God, please keep him save.