Stay with me? [Finnick Odair]

38

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Chapter thirty eight: Confessions from the dark side
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Weeks have passed since the day I had with Finnick, we've been hanging out together much more, going down to the docks, sitting in Finnick's house, sharing a plate of crab cakes in my house. Even though Mae doesn't want to admit it, she's finally glad I've been able to find someone that makes me happy, I see the way she smiles when she sees Finnick and I throwing crab cakes at each other like we're children. We clean it up, of course, but it's the most fun I've had in years.

We're both sitting on the docks, staring out at the glistening waters, just like the hours before the reaping, my head on his shoulder and his arm around my waist— his head resting on top of mine. I can't help but notice the murky hue that waters have developed over the years, it doesn't have that same beauty it did when I was fifteen, it's still breathtaking to watch, graceful as ever, but there's something about it that unsettles me.

"Have you heard about Katniss and Peeta? Their engagement?"

I scoff. "Who hasn't? They're everywhere," I joke, I know they're only kids, I'm sure they're actually very nice people to know, but the Capitol spend so much time focusing on them that their faces are everywhere. Everyone in Panem knows who they are, no doubt about that. "Do you think they're in love?" I ask innocently, lifting my head and looking at him curiously.

It's not that I'm questioning their love story, just the Capitol blows it up so much that I'm left to question how much of it is real. I know what we saw in the arena was real, their kiss, Katniss yelling for Peeta when she heard the cannon and when the game masters announced two of them could go home, all of that was real. However, Katniss seems to be more indifferent than anything.

Finnick hums, lips twitching up into an amused smirk, he gives a short laugh before replying. "I don't know, they seem to have the entire country fooled," he says, contemplating the idea that their story is fake seems to amuse him to great lengths.

"But have they fooled President Snow?" I add to the amusement, earning another melodic laugh from him, shaking his head with his smile lingering, he pulls me close to him and sighs.

"That is a mystery. Nothing seems to please that man," his voice becomes low and quiet, like he intended on me missing that part, I lift my head up and straighten myself up with my brow furrowed.

"What do you mean?"

He shakes his head. "Nothing."

I place my hand on his. "You can tell me, Fin, you know that," I say, pushing him to tell me what he meant. Finnick gives me a sideways glance, as if he's afraid to meet my eyes, then he looks to the ocean for comfort. His ocean blue eyes held deep sadness, but he was also confused, I wanted him to tell me what was troubling him so badly — I was so worried for him.

"You won't like it," he mumbles, I give his hand an assuring squeeze.

"I don't care, something is bothering you and I want to know what."

He laughs at this, weakly, chewing on his bottom lip, I nudge his shoulder with mine and he swallows thickly. "Fine." He straightened himself up, clicking his tongue and dragging out the silence as much as he can. "Over the years, President Snow has made me do things that I didn't want to do, he's made me—"

"Give people who pay the most comfort and affection?"

He looks at me with alarm, like I had just said something absurd, but I figured it out within the few seconds he was talking. He's at a loss for words, trying to say something but his lips don't seem to allow the words to escape. His expression says it all: how did you know?

I shrug. My eyes fall to my lap. "Snow makes me do the same thing, I figured it out a while ago," I mumble, his expression softening, I give him a crooked smile and avoid his gaze. It's strange to have someone who knows what Snow is doing to me, let alone them having the same thing done to them, I can feel his eyes glued onto me as I stare down at my lap.

Suddenly, I feel his hand pressing against my cheek and him pulling my face towards him, he plants a soft kiss on my lips, it's quick and our lips barely connect, but it's hard to miss. I flash him a smile.

"What was that for?" I ask, a breath-like laugh escaping my lips, a smirk appears on his face and he shrugs his shoulders.

"It felt like the right moment," he explains with a playful look in his eyes. "To get off of the topic, I thought it would distract you."

I roll my eyes at him, shaking my head, I can't stop a laugh from escaping my lips. "Well, you were right," I reply, both of us moving our attention back to the horizon and going back to where we were— my head on his shoulder, his head on mine and his arm around my waist. This is our way of escaping, just staring out at the horizon and letting our thoughts fade, in each other's company, it's our favourite way of forgetting everything.

Right now, we're escaping the rapidly approaching 75th Hunger Games...