Stay with me? [Finnick Odair]

98

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Chapter ninety eight
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Castor and Pollux have to remove the large shells they wear which carry their cameras since they won't fit in the maintenance shaft, but they manage to detach emergency cameras and we dump the bulky shells into the closet. We try to hide them as best as we can, but it's almost impossible with how big the shells are. We all enter the shaft in single file, holding our packs and gear out to the side. It's an extremely tight fit. There's barely enough room to breathe. Once we pass the first apartment, we break into the second and find the entrance to the tube in one of the bathrooms attached to the bedrooms. Messalla instantly frowns at the sight of the wide circular cover.

"It's why no one ever wants the centre unit," he whines. "Workmen coming and going whenever and no second bath. But the rent's considerably cheaper." He immediately catches himself when he looks over to Finnick and sees the amusement so clear in his expression. Then, he shakes his head. "Never mind."

The cover is unlatched after we share a couple chuckles at Messalla's whining, it reveals a wide ladder with rubber treads on the steps to allow for a simple decent into the bowels of the city. We all climb down one by one, all of us waiting for a moment to allow our eyes to adjust to the dimly lit passage we find ourselves in. I feel my hand clutching onto Finnick's, holding him tightly as if I'll be left alone if I let go. That's exactly what I'm afraid of. Being down here reminds me so much of when I was taken by the Capitol, the dark room that barely allows you to see in front of you — and even the smell — makes me remember what it was like in the Capitol. It reminds me of how alone I was in there... and I don't like the feeling of dread it gives me. I make sure to keep a tight grip on Finnick as Castor spoke up.

"My brother worked down here after he became an Avox," he says and we all turn to him. It makes sense. Who else would they force to maintain these dark passages? "Took five years before we were able to buy his way up to ground level. Didn't see the sun once."

None of us know what to say to him. We don't know what would comfort Pollux or what would make him spiral more, so we all just stand there in dead silence as we all try to think of an appropriate response.

Eventually, Peeta turns to Pollux and puts on a smile. "Well, then you just became our most valuable asset." This makes Castor laugh and Pollux manages a smile at him. This immediately alleviates some of the tension in Pollux's face as we begin to make our way through the passage. Finnick and I stick by Katniss as we move, keeping our hands locked together as we carefully make our way through the dark passage.

I think Finnick can tell I'm feeling that all too familiar feeling of panic and fear as we move further into the dark, seeing as he doesn't leave my side once and he keeps a tight grip on my hand; turning his head to check on me every so often. I can't stop a smile from appearing on my lips as I catch him. Turning my head and seeing him staring back at me, he mirrors my smile before we both share a laugh and place our attention back on the tunnel ahead of us. Turns out, Peeta was right. Pollux is definitely a lot of help to us as we try to navigate our way through the tunnel, he knows these tunnels down to the fine details. If he wasn't here, this would've been a total disaster for us. He alerts us of anything that may be dangerous to us, especially the cameras. There aren't a lot down here, seeing as it's very difficult to see, but there are a couple strewn about and we make sure to keep well out of their way.

After six hours of walking through the dark, narrowly dodging things that may hurt us in any way, we're all overcome with fatigue and this is when Katniss suggests we rest. Nobody objects. After everything that's happened today, we could all do with a decent rest for a few hours. Pollux leads us into a small, warm room which is filled with machines loaded with levers and dials. He holds up four fingers to tell us that we must be gone in four hours and Jackson works out a guard shift.

Finnick is put on guard first, but she might as well have put us both on guard with Pollux — who insisted on staying on guard the entire night — because I can't sleep easily without Finnick by my side. It's like those nights in the Quarter Quell where Finnick went on watch without me, leaving me lying on the ground by myself, and all I can do is toss and turn beside Parker. I'm sure it's keeping him awake — I'm sure I'm keeping everyone awake — but I can't help it.

Every time I close my eyes, I see Snow all over again. I see those piercing eyes staring back at me, his twisted puffy lips grinning at me, and that's when I feel like I'm suffocating — like he has his thick hands wrapped around my throat and he's choking the life out of me. I lurch forward many times during the time that Finnick is away from my side, my breath heavy as I claw at my throat and try to regain the breath that was squeezed out of my lungs. Finnick constantly has his eye on me instead of actually watching Peeta, which makes me feel okay, but for some reason I still can't get to sleep.

"Soldier Odair, go comfort Soldier Carter. I don't think I can stand to listen to her anymore," Jackson snaps from her place on the floor, I chew on the inside of my cheeks as I hear Finnick stand from his place beside Peeta and move over to me. Jackson appoints someone else to watch over Peeta and I feel Finnick lie down beside me, his arm snakes around my waist and I bury my head into his chest; my cheeks burning as I clamp my eyes closed.

"Are you okay?" Finnick whispers to me. I quickly nod, trying not to listen to the loud pounding of my heart in my chest. I feel totally stupid for being the only one keeping the others awake, I feel stupid for still allowing Snow to scare me the way he does, but for some reason he's stuck in my head. He's a nightmare that won't go away — one that leaves a terrible sour taste in my mouth.

"I'm sorry," I mumble, tightening my grip around him and he quickly shushes me before planting a soft kiss on top of my head.

"It's okay, don't worry. Just get some sleep."