Stay with me? [Finnick Odair]

107

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Chapter one hundred and seven
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Finnick and I are blown back by the explosion. We bury our faces into the concrete of the City Circle to protect ourselves from the blast, which results in painful scrapes across our bare skin, but we aren't nearly as damaged as the children who receive the full power of it. Many of the children die immediately from the blast, but a lot of them are left — mangled on the snow — and crying out in pain for someone to help them. The peacekeepers begin tearing away at the barricade in an attempt at helping the children, but then another swarm of white rushes out to help them. Medics. All clutching their medical kits, ready to assist, and I can see from their uniforms that they're rebel medics.

I'm about to pull Finnick up from the ground when the rest of the parachutes go off. Balls of flame shoot over the barricades from the parachutes, landing in the crowd and transforming the people into a sea of fire. I manage to hear Finnick cry out my name over the screams of the crowd when the feeling engulfs my entire body. The feeling of burning swallows me whole and I think I collapse to the ground, thrashing around in an attempt at putting out the flames but this only seems to encourage them to rage on; permanently scarring my body and ripping into my flesh as the mutts did to Parker down in those sewers.

I see the people I love flash before my eyes. All those people I care about... and all the people I lost over the years. My dad, my mom, Mae, Annie, Oliver, Charlotte, Rosalie, Archer, Parker... and finally Finnick appears in front of me. Not like he was before I caught on fire, no, he's significantly younger now... and so am I. I'm back to the age of fifteen. We're back at the docks. I feel the warm water surrounding my bare feet, Finnick's arm is wrapped around my shoulders, and my head is resting comfortably on his shoulder. We're watching the sunrise together, like we did before any of this ever happened.

I'm back to my safe place.

I breathe in deeply and I smell the familiar scent of saltwater coming from the ocean in front of us, and the faint smell of cinnamon reaches my nose from the blonde-haired boy sitting beside me. A smile graces my lips.

The sunset is slower than usual. Like the entire world has been put into slow motion. The sun slowly lowers beneath the pink and purple painted horizon, but I swear every time it almost dips beneath the surface it jumps up again — like it's not ready to go just yet. I feel Finnick turn his head and place a gentle kiss on my forehead. Then, that familiar song starts up around me.

Don't you dare look out your window, darling everything's on fire.

The war outside our door keeps raging on.
Hold onto this lullaby even when the music's gone...

Just close your eyes, the sun is going down.
You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now.
Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound...

I'm trapped for days, possibly longer, with this same memory replaying in front of me. I can never escape it, but I never want to escape it. I want to stay here forever with Finnick. When everything was okay and we didn't have to worry about wars or rebellions. Just staring out at the continuous sunset, listening to that same song over and over again. I hear my father's voice when the song replays like I'm six-years-old again and he's right there with me, and sometimes I swear I can see his smiling face in the reflection of the water in front of me. But he's never actually there with me. I'll never be able to see him again, not unless I go to him.

Sometimes, I hear the voices of the people I love. Finnick and Mae, mostly. Their voices are the most prominent. When I pull my head off of Finnick's shoulder to look at him, he's staring back at me and whispering things. Begging me to come back to him, begging me not to leave him just yet. His face is always blank, but his tone says it all. He's scared.

"Clem, if you can hear me, please don't leave me. I need you. We all do."

I would never leave you, Fin. I love you.

Sometimes, I hear my mother and father. They're saying that they both love me. That they both miss their little girl so much. That they want me to join them, they want to see my face again. My dad wants to see how much I've grown, he wants to see the woman his little girl has become. They want me to tell them all about my life so far, what Mae has become... they want me to tell them everything. But I can never see them. Something is holding me in place, preventing me from moving from my place on the docks. If I just go to them, if I finally allow myself to rest, then I could see them again. I could feel their arms wrapped around me... I could feel safe again. The only thing that's stopping me from going to them is the fact that I would be leaving Finnick, Mae and everyone else who I've grown to care about recently. I don't think I could do that.

Then, I hear an all too familiar voice. One that I haven't heard in months.

"Clem."

Cosmo? Is it really you?

"Please listen to me. You have to come back to us. Your sister misses you. Finnick misses you... I miss you, Clem."

Does that mean you're alive? Where are you?

I try calling out to him, but his face never shows. My voice never carries far enough to reach him, it's like I'm screaming but also whispering at the same time. I can never speak loud enough for anyone to hear me. I can't see Cosmo. Every time I hear his voice, my eyes overflow with tears. I just wish I could see him, even if it was just for a second. All this time, I thought he was dead. I thought he was killed by Snow immediately after I left for the Quarter Quell, but here I am listening to the sound of his sweet voice echoing around me. He's alive. He's so close to me, yet I can't see him.

What does this mean? Who else is alive that I thought was dead?

No response comes to the questions that buzz around my brain like flies, becoming more and more annoying as the days pass me by. The morphling they give me takes away the pain I feel, but it doesn't numb the emotional pain that swallows me whole every time I hear the pleading voices of those I love. I want to wake up. I want to see them again... but I can't. The medicine they give me keeps me under, stops me from seeing their faces again until I'm ready to wake. My safe place soon transforms into my prison. I'm forced to stay here, despite the fact that I want to wake up, and I'm forced to listen to them; unable to assure them that I'm not going anywhere. That I'll be with them again soon...

...

Okay, so I know I haven't updated this in a while. In... months, actually... Anyway, I'm genuinely surprised that people still want to read this haha — but thank you all for sticking around! I really do appreciate it.

Anyway, I'll try and update this a little more often, I've just had a lot of things to keep me busy. I started college and it's a lot of work and stuff, so yeah...

Okay, I'll stop rambling now. Hope you enjoy the rest of the story!