Wake Up

Chapter 13 : Troubled Identity

Hoseok's P.O.V.

There's a lot of things out there in the world that make me feel upset.

But no matter what happens, I always try to think positive.

It pains me to watch my loved ones be in pain, so I try my best to cheer them up as well.

It works, most of the time. According to them, my charms and happiness always lightens their mood.

That makes me happy to hear them say that, hear them say that I'm their ball of sunshine, Mr. Prince Charming, their beautiful sunflower. Their compliments always fill me with such happiness.

Seeing their smiles push me forward to always be positive. They say that they need me as much as I need them. Their laughter makes me feel genuine joy.

I have my methods of trying to make them laugh, whether it being embarrassing myself, telling a few stupid jokes (which I should really stop and leave it for Seokjin to do instead), or to physically and mentally reassure them with hope. I wouldn't care if I looked like a fool. As long as it made them happy, I was fine.

As one could see, ever since our little maknae's crash, no one has ever been themselves since.

Seokjin has become more and more stressed by the minute, always busy working and looking after us like a true guardian angel. He's always been there for us, cooking us meals, checking in on us, and being ready for the absolute worse. He hasn't had much time to sit down and relax because of this, nor anytime to sort out him and Namjoon's rocky relationship. It's saddening to watch..

Speaking of Namjoon, he's changed drastically as well. He went from an all knowing leader to a confused man who can't decide which path to live on.

A few months back, I went to visit Jeongguk one day and I caught caught Namjoon walling hopelessly around the hospital. I just thought that he was simply lost and confused on where to go. But after watching him walk around the hospital multiple times, I soon realized why he never set foot in Room 97. It was simply because he couldn't decide on whether to actually visit Jeongguk or not.

I was confused after realizing this, repeatedly asking Namjoon, "How can you be so puzzled whether to visit him or not? Of course you've gotta pay Jeongguk a visit, no need to hesitate!" But Namjoon would always shrug it off and walk out of the hospital. Then one day, when Seokjin and I came to the hospital together, we saw Namjoon and Yoongi about to leave the building.

We greeted them, thinking that maybe the two had already visited Jeongguk. Seokjin asked them, "How was Jeongguk?" To our suppose, Yoongi nonchalantly replied saying, "I wouldn't know."

Me and Seokjin were confused. I asked, "What do you mean? You just saw Jeongguk a few seconds ago, no?" Namjoon and Yoongi both silently shook their heads. Yoongi was ready to walk out the door before I grabbed onto his arm.

I then said, "What are you doing here then? And how come you don't want to visit Jeongguk? It's been - what? - five days since you've actually visited him," or something along those lines. I remember him just shrugging like all of this meant nothing and walked out of the door. Seokjin was confused and looked to Namjoon for answers, but all Namjoon did was mouth a small, "I'm sorry" before walking out as well.

Ever since then, Yoongi never came back to visit. Namjoon did return maybe like four or five times, but to only walk around the hospital and chat with us in the lobby before leaving. He strangely never entered Jeongguk's room. After those strange and absurd visits, he stopped coming all together.

The following weeks after Namjoon's abrupt ending to his daily visits to Room 97, Seokjin never was the same. Like I said before, he became stress 24/7, never having any time for himself. He never spoke to Namjoon, well he did but most of the conversations were mono-toned and never filled with that spark of love they had before.