Sonic's Chat Room

Stupid in School

TougherthanLeather: Guys. Wanna hear a story?

IhaveaGun: Sure.
-
TougherthanLeather: I don't know. I would have been a lot better off if I'd studied more when I
was growing up, y'know. But you know where it all went wrong was the day they started the spelling bee. Because up until that day I was an idiot but nobody else knew. When the spelling bee day popped up...

SolPrincess: Go on..

TougherthanLeather:
(The whole story is told in Knuckles' Point Of View and it's basically when everyone was younger but weren't friends yet.)

"Alright, kids up against the wall. It's time for public
humiliation." A grey hedgehog with green stripes on his quills and no mouth announced.
"Spell a word wrong-sit down in front of your friends. That's great for little egos." The mouthless hedgehog finished, stepping back.

"Hey, look at me. I'm a moron. I wasn't even close. I was usin' numbers
and stuff." Sonic goofily said, showing his paper to everyone and making the teacher named Ms. Acorn roll her eyes. Sonic sat down and waved at everyone.

That's why I admired that kid who spelled it wrong on purpose so he could sit down. He knew he wasn't going to win, so why stand there for 3 hours.

First round. A black hedgehog with red stripes, named Shadow, went next. The teacher told him to spell the word cat.

"Cat, K-A-T, I'm outta here." He threw the piece of paper he was holding and walked off the stage. Then as he passed you, "Ha! I know there's 2 T's."

I remember my teacher asked me, "Knuckles, what's the 'I' before 'E' rule?"

"Um... I before E ... ALWAYS!" I blurted.

"What are you, an idiot, Knuckles?" Ms. Acorn asked.

"Apparently." I shrugged, making her facepalm.

So she explains it, "No, Knuckles, it's:

'I' before 'E' except after 'C'
and when sounding like 'A'
as in neighbor and weigh
and on weekends and holidays
and all throughout May
and you'll always be wrong
NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!!" She yelled in my face, shaking the stage a bit and making some of my classmates flinch.

That's a hard rule. That's a rough rule.

Plurals were hard, too.

"Knuckles, how do you make a word a plural?" Ms. Acorn asked.

"You put a 's'...put a 's' at the end of it." Knuckles said.

"When?" She gave me a weird smile, like she was planning something.

"On weekends and holidays." I raised my hands above my head.

"No, Knuckles. Let me show you." So she asked this kid who knew everything. Tails.
"Tails, what's the plural for ox?" The yellow fox popped his head up upon hearing his name.

"Ox. Oxen. The farmer used his oxen. While Tails was talking, Knuckles snuck over to the door and reached out to grab the handle.

"Knuckles?"

"What?" Knuckles laughed and turned around to face his teacher, pretending he wasn't trying to sneak out the classroom door.

"Knuckles, what's the plural for box?"

"Boxen. I bought 2 boxen of doughnuts." Knuckles pulled two boxen of donuts from behind his back.
Blaze unsheathed her claws and was ready to scratch Knuckles but Rouge stopped her and shook her head, making the cat sigh and sheathe her claws back again.

"No, Knuckles, no. Let's try another one. Tails, what's the plural for goose?" She called to the kitsune.

"Geese. I saw a flock of geese." Tails adjusted his glasses.

"Knuckles?"

"Wha-a-at?" Knuckles was digging an escape tunnel and laughed exasperately looking at his teacher, who had an unamused expression on her face.

"What's the plural for moose?"

"Moosen!" Knuckles pulled his dreadlocks in crazed anger.

"I saw a flock of MOOSEN! There were many of 'em. MANY MUCH MOOSEN.
Out in the woods...in the wood-es...in the woodsen. The meese want the food in the
woodesen...food is the EATENESEN...the meese want the food in the woodesenes...FOOD
in the WOODESENES!"

"Knuckles. Knuckles! You're an imbecile."

"Imbecilen!" Knuckles yelled back.

"What? Are you speaking German, Knuckles?" Ms. Acorn raised an eyebrow.

"German... Germaine... Germaine... Jackson... Jackson 5... Tito!" Knuckles rambled on, and Ms. Acorn innterupted him.

"Knuckles, what the hell are you talking about?"

"I don't know. I don't know, really."

The school bell rang, signaling that the spelling bee tryouts were over. The students rushed out the room and Ms. Acorn sat at her desk and faceplanted her face on multiple pieces of paper. Someone held up a 'wasted' sign infront of her.

-

I think the worst day was the day the science project was due. Waking up that morning...that was fun, huh? Your head would pop off that pillow, "Oh, no!" Knuckles fell off his bed and checked the date on the calendar that was conviently placed on the floor.

"That's due today."
I had nine months to work on it; I did nothing. I have a cardboard box... or boxen.

And you'd show up; you're scared because you don't have anything good and you find out all the other kids their parents made
theirs for 'em. I hated that, yanno?

They're backing them in on flatbed
trucks. One kid with a volcano...he didn't know how to zip up his own pants but he built a volcano."How'd you swing that?" Knuckles asked Silver, who shot a telekinetic blast at him.

I didn't know what to do for my project so I brought in a paper cup filled with dirt just hoping that she'd know I'm an idiot and just walk right on past
me just as long as I was holding something.

"What do you have there, Knuckles?" Ms. Acorn approached Knuckles' display with a amused expression on her face.

"It's a cup of dirt. Just put an 'F' on it there and let me go home." Knuckles held his cup up for her to grade.

"Well, explain it." She said in a smug voice.

"Well, it's a cup with dirt in it. I call it 'Cup of Dirt.' You should move on
now. Just go ahead and move on. Head on down the line there." Knuckles pushed Ms. Acorn far from his display.

So she went to this one kid; there's a kid in my class who made the same solar system like 19 years in a row. A bunch of Styrofoam balls held together with coat-hangers. "Hey, you're breaking some new ground there, Copernicus." Knuckles mocked Infinite, who growled at him, taking out a red glowing stone. Ms. Acorn approached Infinite's display and he quickly hid the stone and looked up at her.

He's going, "The big yellow one's the sun. The yellow one is the sun."

"OK, alright, what are these other planets?" Ms. Acorn asked the jackal.

"The big yellow one is the sun!" Infinite put on his mask and started to yell.

"Alright! Calm down!" Ms. Acorn yelled.

"Uh... ALRIGHT!" Infinite shouted, landing on the ground.
~
So, the science fair was over. The Volcano got second place and the Solar System third place. I'm not surprised. Ms. Acorn approached me with a weird look on her face. "Knuckles. Look." She held out a gold medal. I shrugged and looked at her. "I'm sorry. But I think you have the wrong person." She shook her head. "Your project was ranked first place for creativity and skill."

"Oh." I took the medal and put it in the cup of dirt. "Thanks."
-

(The story was a stand-up comedy act by Brian Regan. But the little bit at the bottom was mine.)