The Space Between Us

Chapter 11

It wasn't smart, it wasn't pleasant.

But it was the only option.

                                  ******
When i wake up the next morning, i am exhausted.

The room is dark and dull. The atmosphere around me tense. What happened yesterday was still hanging in air.

I open the curtains to let the light seep through the room.

I go downstairs to prepare breakfast. I stand in the middle of kitchen and put my hands on my hips. I am not in the mood for making food or for that matter eating it.

The reality of what happened yesterday is still slowly sinking in.

I debate apologizing to Sydney. but that would involve me texting her, and i don't want her to get her hopes high or anything. I'm still the lonely depressed dude she left a day ago.

But she deserves an apology. I just pushed her away without explanation. At least i should explain myself.

I pick up my phone again and i begin typing.

I'm sorry i'm not a good friend. But you deserve so much better than this. So much better than me. I'm so sorry.

I hit send.

After that, i just lay in bed. Alternating between writing and reading. And of course, checking my phone for text messages every two seconds.

By sunset, there's still no response.

I think of stopping by her house. But i don't know if that would be a good idea. But i don't have an alternative.

I get up and put on a pair of jeans and a plain black shirt. I look at myself in the mirror.

I look like a zombie.

My eyes are red trimmed and i have bags under my eyes. My hair is sticking up in every direction.

I sigh and grab my keys and phone. I head out and begin walking in the direction of her apartment.

When i reach her building, i remember her telling me she lived on 9th floor. I enter the building and get in the elevator. I press 9.

I lean my head against the wall. She'll probably tell me to go away. Or worse, she will tell me that she hates me.

Oh, God. Now is not the time for regrets. I'm already here.

When the elevator dings, i get out. The floor has 3 apartments. I push my luck and i ring the bell of the door on the left.

The door opens and a girl stands in front of me. She has blond hair and striking blue eyes. She's wearing a jean short and a crop top.

She crosses her arms across her chest in a defensive manner, and leans her body against the door.

"Can i help you?" She asks in an extremely bored voice.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but do you happen to know which apartment of those does Sydney lives?"

She sighs and point with her finger behind her. "Right here."

"Is she here right now?" I ask and bit my lip.

She sighs again before yelling for Sydney over her shoulder.

"Coming!" Sydney yells from inside.

I squeeze my eyes shut. I don't want to see the hate on her face when she sees me.

After a few seconds of silence, i open one eye to peek at her and I'm surprised.

Sydney is wearing sweatpants and a white shirt. Her hair up in a messy bun with wild curls everywhere. But what surprised me the most was the look on her eyes.

They were gentle. Holding my gaze with a soft smile on her lips.

"I need to talk to you." I say.

She opens the door further and motions for me to come in. She leads me into the living room and we sit on a yellow couch placed in the corner.

I run my hand through my hair. Then i fold my hands in my lap.

"So, yesterday was a really bad day for me. And you being there and helping me was the nicest thing anyone has ever done to me. And that to me was enough reason to push you away."

She purses her lips and shrugs. "I'm sorry Jake but i don't understand."

I pinch the bridge of nose. "I'm a selfish person. I am trying to protect myself from being hurt."

The look on her face nearly made me cry.
"And i would do that? I would hurt you?"

"I don't know." I shut my eyes tightly.

"Well, i do know. I'm not gonna hurt you okay? Or leave you. I'm just gonna be there. Anytime." She grabs my hand and squeezes.

I open my eyes and look at her. Her eyes are glossy but the looks she gives me tells me that she understands.

I let out a breath. "Thank you." I squeeze her hand back.

She stands up. "So, let me change first then i'm going to take you somewhere."

I smile at her. "Go and change. I'll be waiting right here."

She smiles back and goes to her bedroom.

Maybe i'm weak or selfish or even stupid, but hey,

I have a friend now who's willing to spend time with me.

*******
You're mad thinking you could ever save me.
-A change of heart by 1975