SOLITARY ( COMPLETE)

SOLITARY

I am now Park Baekhyun, 22 years old, married to Park chanyeol. Everybody around me is telling me that I am really lucky, Chanyeol is a capable and competent man. A man everybody looks up too and want to be like.

But for me I don't know what to expect out of this marriage. The decision was not mine, no one asked for my consent. I was never confronted, they didn't thought of telling me about the marriage. Just yesterday I was told that I should be grateful that somone is willing to marry me, I was oblivious of everything.

I didn't even knew his name, I just heard his name from the priest, I don't know anything about him. Knowing about him will be a huge thing, I didn't even knew the date of my marriage till yesterday.

I was brought here, I was given the dress and was left alone in a room, THE BRIDE'S ROOM.  A lady came and did my light makeup, styled my hairs. It was the first time I was attending a wedding, unfortunately which is my own wedding. Nobody thought about taking my opinion. They never did anyway.

Now here I am standing next to my husband, who I just met half an hour ago. My parents are trying their best to show their fake affection for me. Parents no, they are not parents but dealers and similarly I was a good that was being negotiated for this deal.

I was never wanted, I was just a "mistake" that my parents always told me, not just them all of my relatives also made their gracious contribution. Everyone had made their precious efforts to make me realise it, that I was extra, useless and unwanted and ungrateful. They told me I was a curse, a bad onem and the human form of suffering for my parents.

Yes, I have the epitom of suffering, suffering that are my own. That were injected to me since the day I was born. I was never meant to be here. Sometimes I wish to die, I imagine different scenarios of my life. I would have been more happy if I would have been an orphan. I would have lived my life on my terms, would have actually lived, not like right now where I am just taking breaths that I sincerely don't want to take. Death is so beautiful, it will give me freedom from this miserable life but I don’t know why, why is death not taking me with her. I don't want to live, I don’t.

My parents tried to abort me but because it was threatening for my so called mother's life , they decide to have me. My mother hates me the most, she always made me realise that I was a demon that will hurt her precious son Aka my elder brother - baekjook .
Yes, my brother is really a fine man, better than me in every field. In school he was always shinning, I was just invisible to everyone. Always compared, looked down upon.
He was always there for me but gradually he also distanced himself from me. Yes why he will not " who wants to stay with a useless person like me ".

So I'm here, being sacrificed for my brother again, my brother will take over the company really soon, so we needed a bus partner and  Chanyeol came forward to help my brother. And I was sacrificed for this deal. Although I don't mind it, I will be out of this hell but I know if a new hell is waiting for me.

I don't have any emotions left in me, I have just imprisoned the innocent child that was being bruised again and again. Now things don't affect me anymore. I have started living like this. Even I'm not sure when it all started.

My father was toasting for his successful business deal, although the deal was carried out in the form of my marriage.

"I very glad and honoured to have Mr Park Chanyeol as my son-in-law. I would have never imagined someone like him to be my son's life partner.
I hope the union will flourish and shine. To our companies future ahead... Cheers everyone".