Back To The Start (Sequel To The Last Ones Standing)

Goodbye Seems To Be The Hardest Word

*Kat's P.O.V*
I felt my chest seize up as I stared down at the coffin that was being lowered into the ground to be buried away forever, I couldn't see him anymore, I couldn't feel the way his lips felt on my lips anymore, or hear the way my name would roll off his tongue. He was just gone. The cold rain blended in with my tears that softly fell.
"Please don't let him go, we'll find a way to bring him back, just don't bury him, don't let him go away. I...I Can't lose him forever," I said as my vision started to blur, I was feeling too many emotions to maintain any bit of sanity anymore.

Isabel squeezed my hand to reassure me "Kat...We can't bring him back as much as much I'd like to bring him back so I don't have to see you like this anymore, I know that it's just not possible for us to do. This is just life."

Jasmine, Mason, Abie, and Isabel reached in to give me a hug. Damon looked up at us confused as to what was happening "Is my papa gone?"

I couldn't even manage to look into his big blue eyes that looked like Kadens, you could tell his heart was broken, after all, he had finally just met his dad and now he had lost him. Isabel answered for me instead, because I knew I couldn't answer that question if I did I'd have to admit to myself that he was never coming back, that I'd never see him... It would be real "Yes Damon, he went to a very far away place, but he's always gonna he watching over you I'm sure of it."

As the dirt softly pattered, covering the coffin the feeling of never seeing him again became more and more painful to bare, it wasn't true, it couldn't be, I felt myself fall to the ground clutching my chest trying to make the pain of my heart stop, it felt like I couldn't breathe my throat tightened. I had never felt myself cry as much as I did, true heartache and pain "STOP IT! DON'T BURY HIM! I CAN'T DO IT I NEED HIM!"

Abie took step towards me grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me "Kat! He's gone! As in dead, remember you don't like dead bodies?"

"I don't want him to be gone! I don't know what I'll do, it's just it. There's just no more him! And I can't take the fact that I have to live my life everyday without seeing his smile, or the way his eyes would look into mine. I didn't even get one last kiss, just one more kiss is all I want. We weren't even together because I was to busy avoiding him. I love him, I love him so so much and I can't take the fact that I never got to show him how much I love him and tell him a billion times over and over. If I could just wish for one thing, I wish that I didn't make everything seem so complicated with him, because it wasn't, it was simple we loved each other and I shouldn't had let anything keep us apart, I should've been with him while I could've, while he was still here, I just want to hear him say my name one last time, just one more. I'd give anything up to be with him for just one more split second, just to be in his arms taking in the scent of his cologne, but I can't... And there's no way I'll ever see him, and that's what scares me the most, what if I'm never happy again? What if everything is grey and dull forever? Because with him it was like everything was brighter, more beautiful, and it always—-it always smelt like spring."

"I'm sorry Kat," Mason said sighing. "This is all my fault, if I hadn't had died."

"It's not... You didn't know you would get shot, neither did Kaden," I said.

I was the last one left looking down at the newly buried grave, everyone had long left, and it was just me. Abie had taken Damon I wasn't stable enough to be with him right now. And right now, all I wanted was to be alone listening to the still sounds of crickets chirping. It was deafening to hear the silence that resounded but I needed to hear my thoughts, and let myself find the strength to get through it. It was almost as if I could hear the echoes of us laughing, it was haunting my memory, every single moment, every tear, every I love you as his eyes pierced deeply into my soul. I'd never wished so much that it was all just a sad dream and I'd wake up with him laying next to me, he would turn to look at me, smile, and tell me "Good morning Kat you look beautiful." Like he always had. He would always find a way to put my name into a conversation, he couldn't go without it. I'm not fond of our last moments together, there were some good things but it was hardly even him I was speaking to, because, he was under mind control, and the last moment I actually had with him was when he was dying. Maybe if I had seen the signs sooner, the signs he wasn't even himself, maybe just maybe I could've done something. Damon would grow up without him, and never remember a thing with him, maybe he'd even think Josh was his dad, but I knew for sure I could never go back to pretending I love Josh, I needed to learn to live with myself and not depend on the love of others for validation. But the one thing that I know for sure is that Kaden was the only exception I had with love, the only one I had truly felt love with, true love, and the one time I decided to fall in love little did I know I would also feel completely and hopelessly shattered at the end, now all I have of him are the memories of him living on in my mind, and the ghost of the love we had would forever haunt my mind.

"I love you Kaden...Goodbye," I said walking away from the quiet cemetery.