Patience

Chapter 4 - Homesick

"Dad, you need to calm down. I'm doing completely fine! It's Thursday, I've been here almost a week already!" I chuckled as I spoke to my father on the phone in the empty break room of the hospital.

"I just haven't been so far away from you like this before, bub. I'm not used to having such a quiet house." My dad sighed and chuckled lightly from the other end.

"Well, what about that girlfriend of yours? Isn't she around?" I asked.

"Oh no, we're doing great but she's still not my awkward daughter." He chuckled again.

"Don't you forget it." I smiled widely.

"Look, sweetheart, it's 6 am here so I better head to bed but don't be a stranger, yeah?" 

"No worries Papa Bear, I love you." My smile faded a little bit.

"I love you too hun." 

I hung up the phone and sighed. I'm now feeling a little bittersweet. I love it here and everything is great but you can't escape homesickness and today, it's starting to show. It's only been a week or so but Dad's right, I've never been so far away from him before. Since my mother died when I was really young, Dad and I have always been a team. The dream team, can you believe it? Well we were, we were the best. Mum and I will always be best friends but Dad and I are just so close. I'm really starting to miss him.

I wiped the oncoming tear away from my face, sniffling a little bit before placing my phone back in my pocket. I heard the door open and immediately turned around. It was Mike.

"Hey, Felicia. Good to see you again, how have you been fairing the past few days?" He asked with that bright smile.

"I've been good, starting to uh, really settle in. Met some neighbours already, they're all really nice. I live in this new fancy apartment complex down the street and it's very gorgeous. I don't really understand your coffee though." I chuckled lightly, trying to cheer myself up.

"I've heard you guys have some of the best quality coffee in the world." He chuckled and sat on one of the chairs sitting by the table in the middle of the room.

"Yeah, I guess we just really like our cuppas." I smiled and sat in a nearby chair.

"You feeling okay? You seem a bit pale." He asked, furrowing his brows a little.

"Uh... Yeah... I'm just... Y'know... Feeling tired or whatever, I guess... I mean... I'm sure I'm okay. I have a bit of chest pain... but it's whatever... just worn out... You know how it is." I chuckled awkwardly again. Dad wasn't kidding when he said I was the awkward daughter.

"Did you want me to have a bit of a check? See what's going on?"

"I mean... I dunno." I darted my eyes away.

"C'mon, humour me?" Mike asked with a small smile.

I looked at him and couldn't help back smile back.

"Do what you must, Doctor." I chuckled.

Mike stood up and took the black stethoscope from his neck. I sat back in my chair and he had a listen to my heart.

"Well you are a bit tachy, you feeling any anxiety or is work stressing you out at all?" He asked, placing the stethoscope back around his neck.

"I... I uhh..." I was left a bit speechless. I barely know Mike and he doesn't really know me either but I guess if I were to tell anyone about how I'm feeling, a doctor would be a good idea.

"I'm becoming really homesick." I mumbled quietly. "I'm starting to really miss my Dad."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I can't imagine being away from your parents like this is easy." He placed a hand on my knee, comfortingly.

"I mean I'm the one that wanted to move here, I wanted a change. Which is why I feel so silly even complaining about it at all. I just don't have a rock anymore. My Mum was my rock and when she died, my Dad became my rock and now I'm here and..." I looked up at him with teary eyes and sighed at myself, wiping my face with the tissues on the table.

"I'm rambling to someone I barely know." I shook my head and sniffled. "I'm sorry." 

"No, don't be sorry. It's always good to talk to someone. C'mere. Hugs fix everything." He smiled as he stood up, reaching his arms out.

"I do really like hugs." I chuckled as I wrapped my arms around him, his muscular warm body wrapping around me. I close my eyes and focus on the heartbeat I can hear from his chest, I'm starting to feel a bit better, especially when he starts to rub my back a little. I feel safe.

"Thanks, Mike." I looked up at him and smiled. "Must be a doctor's thing."

"Don't mention it. Listen, I should head back to work and you should too but if you need anything, you page me, yeah?" He smiled back at me.

"Yeah, too easy." I nodded and smiled wider as I unlatched from him. He headed back to his work and so did I. 

I finished the day with a smile on my face but after seeing a familiar name buzz on my phone screen as I get home, that smile faded. It was my brother. He and I didn't have the greatest relationship after Mum died, there was no reason for it either, we just ended up not really liking each other. He always tries his best to put me down but my heart always forgives him because I secretly do love him but I don't know if he loves me.

I nervously tapped that accept button and sighed. "Tony.  You called for once."

"Don't be so excited about it. I only just learnt you're on the other side of the world, god forbid you don't tell me shit anymore."

"I don't owe you anything, Tony. Certainly not about my life anyway." I spat coldly.

"Well I dunno, it's kind of funny how you move away from your Dad at this time." He chuckled.

"He's not even your Dad, why do you care about what goes on with his life. Why don't you go worry about your Dad, I'm sure James has something to keep you busy." 

"My Dad doesn't have prostate cancer." He spat.

"It's not even malignant, Tony. It's just sitting there. He's going to that drug trial in Sydney in a couple of months, he's fine. If he wasn't, I would've have left!" I shouted, starting to get furious.

"Ha, struck a nerve, did I? Probably because you know it's true."

"My Dad is fine. Don't throw his situation into this." 

"Whatever, Celia. You're just like Janette and Kristen. Leaving the poor man by himself."

"Janette and Kristen can't leave New Zealand, they have kids y'know and Dad was the one that emigrated to Australia, it's not like they left New Zealand and then went back."

"Listen, I'm bored listening to you. I'll call you sometime."

"Please don't." I hung up the phone and put the phone on the dining table aggressively. 

I jumped into some pyjamas and threw my hair up in a messy bun. I went to pick up the phone again and called my Dad.

Hey, you've reached Troy Porter. Leave a message and I'll call you back soon.

The dreaded beep sounded.

"Dad, I just want you to know that I'm sorry. I only left because I was certain you were okay, it's not because I don't love you, I love you with all my heart you know that, right? Please call me back when you wake up." I started to cry. My brother's words really did get to me this time and I wanted my Dad to know that I care.

My Dad does indeed have prostate cancer. A dormant form of it although. His doctor says it's not very serious at this time and he can participate in this drug trial that can kill the bad cells but that's not a few months yet. My brother Anthony Porter acts all high and mighty when it comes to cancer because he had cancer when he was 2. Some sort of intestinal cancer, I can't remember what it was exactly but he beat it when he was 5. Made him clearly feel like he's unstoppable. 

After leaving a message on my Dad's phone, I couldn't help but bawl my eyes out. Today hasn't been the best day. I sob with my head in my hands until I hear a knock on the door. It must be Kate or Danielle, they must've heard my phone conversation. The walls aren't exactly thick. I clean myself up and walk to the door, I opened it with a smile and a familiar face appears but not the one I was expecting...