Patience

Chapter 21 - Falling Off the Wagon

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After a week or so of settling with Mike in his apartment, I decided it was time to try and face my own apartment again. As much as I loved sleeping alongside Mike and being with him every day, I can't avoid my home forever.

"So you're all good? You don't need anything else? Have you forgotten anything or?" Mike came and wrapped his arms around me from behind, nestling his head in my neck.

"Nope, I think everything is unpacked. Thanks for helping me settle back in." I smiled and gave him a kiss. Our kiss lingered for a while, I think Mike enjoyed our time together so much that he didn't want me to go back home. I can't even fathom how much of a sweetheart he is. He feathered small kisses all over my face before planting another one on my lips.

"I better head off to work, night shift awaits me. I'll see you soon." Mike gave me a big bear hug before heading out the door. My first instinct was to truly wash away the trauma that left a horrible odourless stench in the air. It was time to go see my mother. Grabbing the valium pills from my bag, I downed no more than 6 pills. Thank God, these ones were prescription, otherwise, I wouldn't have any trust in the label, not after I had that horrible yet intense night of tweaking.

I wasn't ready to come back here, I'm still terrified. I wasn't ready to sleep in my own bed or watch my own television. I didn't want to be alone but there's only one way I can cope.

I grabbed a blanket and laid it on the carpet, I lied back onto the blanket and stared at the ceiling as my eyelids became heavy and the right kind of fuzziness came upon me. I closed my eyes and opened them within my new false awakening. I looked beside me and there was her phantom, lying beside me.

"I'm sorry, Mama. I didn't want to get Tony in trouble."

"No, no, bubba. You did the right thing. I was so foolish to not see his obsessive behaviour. I was blinded by the motherly love I have."

"You're not foolish. Even I didn't want to believe that all this was going to happen."

"I'm just so glad he didn't hurt you badly, κοριτσι μου ομορφο."

"You were right about those pills. He gave me amphets. They weren't benzos."

"I know, honey. He and his public servant friends like to go to the Mooseheads Nightclub and take a few at night just because they have the money to do so. Had you accepted the 'fentanyl' he offered, it would've sent you into cardiac arrest, it wasn't fentanyl."

"Insurance." I sighed.

"What?"

"He knew there was a chance he wouldn't get to kill me with his bare hands so he tried to seal my fate with mislabeled drugs. Insurance of my death."

"I'm still so surprised that my beloved son was willing to go so far to torture his own sister."

"I should've listened to you about those pills."

"It's not your fault, my darling girl. I know what went through your head and although irrational to me, it wasn't to you."

I sighed and grabbed my mother's hand, squeezing it tightly.

"Έχετε πάντα δίκιο. Αυτό σημαίνει ότι νομίζω ότι πρέπει να ξεκινήσω να ξεχνάω αυτό το μέρος." I choked back my tears as she squeezed my hand back in return. Tears seeped from her eyes as she heard the words roll off my tongue.