hidden | ethma

prologue

the proximity of our bodies are so close, i can feel his breath fanning out onto my face. the temperature is rising rapidly in the small space, with fear and anxiety.

i rest my head back against the wall, knowing any moment my apartment will be ransacked and shifted through for any sign of us two. they'll tear through every room until they find this one, the only one that locks from the inside. and they won't hesitate to break it down. 

i feel his eyes on me, they burn into my skin like lasers. even in the darkness of the small closet we're crammed into, i see the electrifying hazel of his gaze.

"are you afraid?" 

his low voice rings through the silence. i lean my head over to look at him, eyes locking with his. i think of all the different times he's asked me that same question. 

"are you?" i counter. 

he looks away, taking a breath. 

my throat is dry and my skin is damp with nervous sweat. i know that my makeup smudges around my eyes and my hair is unruly, falling down past my shoulders. my heart pounds loudly in my chest.

"emma." 

i snap my eyes up to meet his again.

"i want you to promise me something." his voice is low and raspy, laced with despair. 

i nod slowly.

"if something happens here... i need to know that..." he takes a breath, running a hand through his hair. "i want you to run away, okay?" he looks back at me.

i furrow my brow. "what do you mean?" 

"i want you to go back to california, i want you to forget me." there's nothing in his eyes but pain. 

i shake my head. "i... i can't..."

"you have to do it, emma, do you understand? if one of us is going to make it, i want it to be you." he said harshly, a vein throbbing on his neck. 

my heart rate quickens. "no," i say. "i won't promise that."

"you need to," he says, shaking his head. "you need to leave here and never come back. don't come looking for me, either-" 

"i won't do that!" i cut him off. he shuts his mouth, jaw tense. i take a breath. "if something happens here, it's either both of us or none of us." 

he stares at me, hard; searching my eyes desperately. a muscle throbs in his jaw and his breathing is uneven. his neck glistens with sweat.

he finally breaks my gaze, looking down. it terrifies me to think that he won't make it through; that they'll let me go and not him.

"not everything turns out the way you want it to," he says after a few minutes of silence. "not everything turns out perfect-"

"we can't think that way." i say. "it'll tear us apart."

"if that doesn't, there are thousand other things that will." 

this is how it's always been; i the optimist and he, the pessimist.

"what happens if you make it and i don't?" i dare to question. 

his eyes snap up to me. "then i'd die wishing it was me instead of you." 

my heart is in my throat. warm tears prick at my eyes and i wipe them quickly.

"stop talking like that!" i snap. "stop it." 

he looks at me taken aback by my harsh tone, but he doesn't say anything.

"all i'm saying," he begins again. "is-"

"i know exactly what you're saying, and i want you to stop saying it!" my voice sounds high-pitched, verging on hysterical. 

he reaches out and takes my hand in his, the rough skin of his palm touching the soft skin of mine. he rubs his thumb over the back of my hand soothingly. i take a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. 

"just promise me," he whispers. "promise me you'll stay hidden." 

i don't answer.

"please, emma." he begs. "i need to know." 

i swallow and nod. if this is what you need to hear, then i'll agree to it.

"say it," he pleas.

"i'll stay hidden." i whisper. 

just when he steps forward to pull me into an embrace, a fierce pounding sounds and the door next to us is ripped off.
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HI JUST TO CLARIFY this was originally a harry styles fanfic written by seasidestyles but i just revised it to fit ethma :)